Sticker Shock

And I thought I liked to shop. My cousin is the queen of all shoppers. We went from noon until 6:30pm and only sat down for about 15 minutes to grab a late lunch. We went into and out of every store (it seemed) at the Natick Mall which used to be called Shoppers' World and now has expanded to Shoppers' Universe. Nordstrom's and Neiman Marcus and European stores galore were in the new expanded glory of the mall. A pea coat, remember those? A pea coat in Neiman Marcus was a steal for 1800 dollars. My blood pressure was in roller coaster mode. I kept grabbing tags and going crazy. How on earth do you justify spending 1200 dollars for a white blouse? Please someone tell me. I'm fantasizing that I might actually have that much money and it's not needed for anything at all and if I spent it there would be plenty more where that came from but seriously, my fantasy hits a wall when I think about the shopping and the tags.

I am still a little jarred from the whole thing. My cousin pooh poohed my out bursts and said that only a fool would buy at retail (she used to be a buyer for some large stores). But even on a sale....what would that be marked down to?

In the same vein, a talk show host had spent the weekend in NYC and found an article in the Sunday Times about a young couple settling into a co-op in the city. They had bought the co-op for 6 million and had to spend 3 million to renovate. He was sputtering about the idea that having spent all that money for the co-op it wasn't good enough for them. He wanted very much to have them on his show so that he could find out what they were really made of. Besides money that is.

Well - I must run. I have a date with my rheumatologist and can't be late. He will definitely be the doctor to use that take two aspirin line. The way I feel today I should take four. Later

Out of the Ordinary

Well due to the husband's need to put food on the table, we are back from the weekend on Sunday. Note I said we. It's always only I since most of his work goes on at the summer place which is open all winter and where he is usually anchored in. This bit of work is closer to our other place which is where I work. Here we are where usually I am only. The dog doesn't have a clue what's up. She is pacing and pacing. Very rarely does she spend time here and honestly it is a much better spot for her since we have a large fenced in yard.

Problem is that the husband expects to open the refrigerator and see what he usually sees and here? I live like a lonely old maid. I have no juice or extras anywhere. I have frozen dinners of the Lean Cuisine variety. I have the high fiber cereal and canned soup. I bring my salad fixin's and milk back and forth. He's not happy.

We did go out last night to an Outback restaurant. We had a gift certificate and put it to good use. As always I had most of my steak to bring home. I just love their chopped salad and can't stop so that is usually dinner plus the baked potato. At least he'll have steak for breakfast. LOL

We talked about discovering (for us) the Outback and how we went there with my brother and his wife when we were in Florida for my folks 60th wedding anniversary. Neither my brother nor his wife had ever been to one and after that they always took the family for group events. We also went to one when my cousin's daughter got married in California. We decided to go and make it a real vacation. What a good time we had. One of the stops was in Fresno and we were searching for a place to go for dinner that was close by the motel, reasonable and good. Not knowing anything about Fresno we went into the Yellow Pages which is my AAA guidebook by the way and the only thing nearby enough that we were sure was good was the Outback. We went and sure enough it was as if we were in the one in Florida or the one in Massachusetts. I really don't like that trend of franchise everything but scattered among the unique to the region shops and restaurants which this one was is not an awful thing.

I am meeting my cousin today for a shopping adventure. Tell you all about it later. Have a fabulous Sunday.

Good Time with Good Friends

We had the nicest visit from two of our dearest friends. They have been friends with each other for a zillion years and while at our house years ago they realized they were more than friends and started to date which led to their moving in together and 10 days ago they got married in Las Vegas. Honestly they are both so happy. This is her first marriage and he had been briefly married many years ago and divorced for years and years. They are so giddy about the husband and wife thing. They are also torn between being so excited and then thinking they are too old to be so.



They came to pick up a freezer that we were giving them...long story but we planned on dinner for them and I bought a small cake that looked as if it could have been the top of a wedding cake. They didn't have a cake and she cried over it. I gave it to her and told her to freeze it until their first anniversary and have it then. Is that still done? I remember doing that years ago. We grilled and had steak. My husband is a griller extraordinaire. He puts the grilled steak on a tray that has olive oil, garlic, rosemary and sage. It is so flavorful. I made a great salad of romaine, red pepper and our heirloom tomatoes and had some great french rolls heated in the oven. Toss in some great wine and what a nice meal. We toasted them before eating and more tears since it was just the two of them in Las Vegas thus no toasts so Kleenex all around, well at least the ladies. The men? They are not so weepy.

Dinner is now done and they are on the road back to their house. My man is in the recliner with the baseball game on and the snoring is so loud that it's hard to hear the announcer. Hope you are all as content as we are.

Pea Soup Time

We are in a pea soup fog. It's Hound of the Baskerville weather. It's so foggy that if you walk under a tree you get fogged on. It accumulates on the leaves and drips off so it's as if it were raining under the trees. I LOVE this weather. It's really warm out too. I must hit the road for a walk and see how wet I get with the fog. I'll let you know when I return.

New Beginnings

There have been so many new beginnings recently. My niece had a little boy, actually a big boy and he is lovely. My sister-in-law's daughter had a little boy yesterday and my cousin's daughter got married Saturday. There are more as well but all of that in less than three weeks and I don't have much of a family at all. To go a bit further, every morning we can start all over again. God is so good.

That direct line radio station I listen to was talking about sin this morning and the pastor was quoting the bible. He read Psalm 51 which he said was David's view of sin and then 2Samuel 12 which was God's view of the same sin. Then that pastor said the most frightening thing of all. When we sit in that judgement seat we think the Lord will show us our life as He saw it and we all know how terribly painful that will be but this pastor said that he thinks we will also see how our lives might have been if we had only repented sooner. We will see everything as it might have been. What a thought.

Oh Lord have mercy. I am so grateful for new beginnings and I pray for Your help and guidance as I move through this day ahead of me.

October is here! October is here! Yikes, how did this happen? I know that it's just a bunch of days one after the other and then. . . here is October! But still, all those days did happen and what speeds everything up as we get older? Maybe it's just as well since as we age we feel more physical aches and pains and creaks and groans so sooner is better to pull up the covers and sleep through it. Thus, the solution of the day whizzing by. We also tend to think differently when we age. Now the clouds that used to be on the horizon are actually overhead and dimming the brightness of the sun. Thus the solution of the day whizzing by since it isn't always so promising. See? There's a good reason for all of this.



The reasons are good and the weather is glorious and what we should do with the bright patches is get out enjoy and after all that fresh air and healthy exercise we'll get a good night's sleep for a change since the other part of aging includes days whizzin by and night's dragging as we think of all the awful things that might be out there waiting tomorrow or of all the things we coulda woulda shoulda done blah blah.

Tell you what....I'm outta here and into that fabulous fall air. Happy pumpkins and corn stalks and candy corn. What could be better?

Missin' my Brothers and Others

I know I should have written more and not deleted the one that I did write but..... it's my blog after all and I will do what I will do. It's the only place I can say that and mean it so . . . . . give me a break.



My bother died 3 years ago today. I went out with his girl and we had such a nice night. No one in the world had the sense of humor my brother had and I miss miss miss laughing with him. I miss every one of my family and when I think that as a younger woman I couldn't ever imagine being alone in the world. What a very odd world this is. I loved my family more than earth and would have done anything for any one of them and now! Here I am! Oh there are still friends and more distant family and of course my husband thank you God for him.

Have you seen the German Coast Guard video....we are sinking...what are you sinking about? Google German Coast Guard and you should get there. My friend's husband is from Germany and he showed this to me the other day. He laughed so hard that he got everyone else laughing. Not that the video isn't funny but he was more fun.

Now I must get on with life. I started the day with Joyce Meyer and she had a really good point. Forgiving doesn't mean hanging around with just to prove you forgive. I needed to hear that. This week has been all about forgiving. Am I just sensitive to that message or is it out there for everyone? Chuck Swindall is talking all week about Joseph and how he forgave his brothers. Joyce this morning and there have been other messages on those radio programs. I don't know. Maybe God does use that radio station to get a message to me.

Have a lovely day. It's sunny here and might rain later but it will be a nice day I'm sure.

Wednesday Ramblings

Got a new to me car and I am so happy. My old, and I mean old, car has had no air conditioning for 2 months....yes, July and August. Now, I have the air conditioning I have been dreaming about.

Speaking of dreaming, I heard Coast-to-Coast with George Noury(sp) the other night and he had a man, Robert Moss, on who interprets dreams. Last night I dreamed about setting the table for dinner and I had no forks. What's that about do you think? He said that you should just write down your first instinct and not belabor the details. Sometimes a dream is just a dream you know and not a message from beyond, wherever that is.

I have to get some lunch now before I faint and then I will put some effort into clearing the desk and at that point I will ramble some more. Later

Thoughts

Just thinkin'. Fidel Castro is the working man's Osama. Those videos. How long do you think each one of them has been sleeping the long sleep? I don't think either one will be coming down for breakfast.

I Like George W Bush

After reading all the bursts of nonsense in the news today I have to say it. I think GW is an ok guy. I don't agree with all of his actions but I feel safer with him sitting in the oval office and I think he is a man of integrity and respect. I can't stand all the back biting, posturing morons who are clawing their way to the front of the reporters so they can breathlessly tell some tale out of school.

OK. I'm done with that. Thanks

Thanks be to the Radio Messengers

Had a terrible day yesterday. Too terrible to review here just know it was emotionally painful. As a result I slept poorly after crying for quite some time and I never even tried to stop. I just walked around weeping like a little girl with the oh poor me's. Anyhow, during the night as I slept poorly I had the radio on and at one point I heard Roy Masters and he told me to remove myself emotionally from whatever was going on around me. Watch the action as if it were a TV drama. Then you will be able to make a correct decision and take a correct action. The emotion of the event allows you to be manipulated or to attempt to manipulate others and either is the wrong thing to do. Thanks Roy, that is such good advice. Wring the emotions out of the scene and the issues become so clear.

Later I heard Dr. Laura and one of her callers was weeping. She felt guilt because her life was good. Dr Laura asked her if she had a crappy family and the girl said sort of. You have survivor guilt, she told the young lady, and you should never feel guilty for the good life you earned through good choices. In a way I am being accused of having a better life than someone else. I won't apologize because my family was a good one and someone else's wasn't. Everyone's family can be crappy in many different ways. Man up! Get over it! Thanks Dr. Laura.

Another Dr. Laura epiphany was a caller who said she wanted her friend to understand...Dr Laura stopped her there and said, No. You want your friend to do what you want her to do. You have an opinion and so does she. You want her to change her opinion to yours. You want her to agree. Whenever some one says they want you to understand. That's code for they want you to agree with them. That cleared up a lot of yesterday. Thank you again Dr. Laura.

And last but not least, I awoke after tossing and turning, to hear Dr Dobson interviewing Barbara Johnson and she said that no one could depend on you for joy or rob you of yours. She would look at the sky and say how glorious, it's as if God vacuumed the sky, that's how clean and sparkling it is. Her husband would say, well God will dump out the vacuum bag soon and take care of that. She said that made him happy and she would not rob him of that. She would not let that thought take her happiness away however. She also said that after a terrible day she would thank God the day was done and pray that there would not be another like that in a hurry.

Thank you God that yesterday is over and I pray there not be another of those in a hurry. Blessings to everyone. It's a beautiful day.

No Straying from the Diversity Crowd

This is a very dark decade. There can be no diverse thoughts among those who promote diversity. I draw your attention to Larry Summers.

http://fallbackbelmont.blogspot.com/2007/09/nihil-obstat.html

Moms and Universities

I was just reading about filming the documentary "Indoctrinate U" and it kind of coincided with a conversation I had with a long time friend as I drove home from work. Her mother is 95 and although a lovely lady, she is a very controlling and domineering mom. My friend has been squashed under this woman's thumb for years and unfortunately married her mother too. Her husband, although a lovely man, is controlling and critical and between her husband and her mother she, years ago shut down and just let the two of them take over. Now, at 64, she is beginning to become the rebellious 16 year old she should have been all those years ago. Both her husband and her mother think she needs psychiatric help because she is merely asserting herself for the first time ever. That documentary blurb talked about the University folk calling the police because this film maker was asking some questions that they were very uncomfortable with. They didn't and don't want their "family issues" aired to the outside world. They don't, like my friend's mother, want any independence of thought on the part of anyone they see as less important as they. Just thinkin'.

Imagine This!!!!!

I try to get through the day without outbursts. Honestly! I try! But then, in my vision passes the rear end of a car with a bumper sticker "Imagine Peace" Tra La. Like it's that simple.

IMAGINE VICTORY!!! is it that tough to do? No. We have to imagine running away, frightened, the bully should never be stood up to, don't get him angry, give him your lunch money and he will leave you alone. You stupid doofus. Give him your lunch money and he'll take the rest of your allowance and your bike and your dolls. When confronted on the street, hand over your wallet and watch and wife and kids and car. Does that mugger look familiar to you? You used to give him your lunch money.

EEEEgads! We are hopelessly doomed to be lectured to by old, daffy flower children who blew most of their brain cells on LSD back in the day. Saggy old goofs (my age by the way) looking for some more fun in the park defying mom and dad. I've got to go before I rupture something critical. Later

Good Eats

Another week end - gone. It was close to 40 degrees this morning and only 64 in the house. Brrr. More global warming effects I'm sure. I've been blogging long enough to have another one of these rants available from a previous cold day in September so go to the archives and review for detail. Right now I will only say, the heat? she is not available until the bird goes in the oven. Socks, sweatshirts and sweat pants and thank goodness they are plentiful just not immediately available. Under the bed is a good place to start looking. Once those seal up bags are opened however, it's highly unlikely anything will go back from whence it came.

Supper last night was such a hit I've been told not to lose the recipe. Let me tell you how often that ever happens, never. I will share with you my, from now on, all time favorite Sunday supper recipe, Korean Roast Chicken Thighs.

8 chicken thighs, skin on
1/2 cup soy sauce (use the lowest sodium you can find. House of Tsang is great)
1/2 cup minced green onions (I used our fresh chives from the herb garden)
3 tablespoons sesame oil
3 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons minced garlic or 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Preheat oven to 375
Place chicken skin side down in large baking dish (I sprayed it with Pam)
Combine the ingredients above in a bowl and then pour on top of chicken
Bake uncovered 45 minutes
Turn over and bake for another 15 or 20 minutes

Yum. I served with brown rice, ladled the sauce over the rice and broccoli.

Grrrrrrr!

Does Nancy Pelosi ever regret anything she has ever said or done? You know. Like we do. We of little income and power, we of woefully small carbon footprints, we, the people. Do you think she ever, as we would, has those photo ops slam through her brain as the old "Yee Gads, did I really do that?" You know. The pictures from the family party where we played with the hula hoop or put on that big brimmed straw hat that Nana Gumpa brought back from Guadalawhatever, those pictures that when someone brings them out or slide shows them we have to move out of the zip code for a century or seven. THOSE PICTURES!!!! And yet. There she is, in a scarf, or sitting in Syria ever so demurely, knees together, hands delicately placed on those knees turning to the man of the hour as if she were at a college mixer. Yes. I went to those and have regretted every second except for the fodder it provides to know who I mix with today. Honestly. Does she ever run those stupid, damaging, hurtful, disgusting lies she spews to the camera back to herself and when or if she does, does she say, "What a good girl I am." ?

Oh Lord please help me with this anger......I know not what I should do with it.

Thanks to God

Another day here in Happy Valley. The sun is shining as bright as can be. I awoke to a radio show about reaping what we sow. Before you can sow anything you must prepare the soil. You need to plow and then sift or whatever it's called and winnow? if that's the word I heard. Anyway, living here on earth hardens the soil of our hearts and we have to take the time to prepare our hearts for the seed of the Holy Spirit.

I also heard that only three men in the Bible were described as handsome and they were David, Joseph and Absalom. Each were beautifully made.

The other tidbit is that living a life of privilege does not prepare us well to resist temptation or to work hard but Joseph did. He did live the life of the favored son and was spoiled by his aged doting father. Sold into slavery he worked very hard and earned the respect of Potiphar but was tempted by Potiphar's wife and was able to resist. He was tempted daily not just one time and resisted. Even though he was pampered for his entire life he was able to work hard and resist temptation because God was with him. God was always with him and even though he was adored by Jacob and given the favored position he was still humble. Just saying. That whole discussion has planted the urge to read Genesis again. I love that story.

Thank You for Your Word God. Thank You for everything.

What me Worry??

OK so I heard from that Doctor and he was right. Not to worry but he thought I might have gout. I have a swollen knuckle on my right index finger - it's the first knuckle - the largest one and it prevents me from serious jar opening maneuvers and occasionally causes wincing while shaking hands vigorously. He prescribed medication which I will not take or fill since I told him over and over that the pain? It does not exist unless opening a jar or shaking hands.

My uric acid is elevated .5 points over the high number. I am so not worrying.

Is it only Tuesday?

Today began with a transfer of all food from the freezer in the garage to the freezer in the kitchen which had a bit in it already. The food, frozen block solid, had to be unloaded and reloaded and added to. Frozen chicken legs are heavy when they fall on your foot. This exercise in food handling was due to the fact that the ice packs I put in the freezer last night were still soggy this morning. When I pulled out the thermometer it was warmer than freezing and my husband, calm solid block of tranquility that he is, called GQ and the race was on. Now, rather than see if the temperature goes up in that empty freezer, the new one will be delivered tomorrow and we're so done with that other one.

Can't start much better than that now can it? Oh, there is that call from the doctor's office that was waiting for me when I got here at the office. He left a message that I should call him about the lab results. I did. He wasn't available. His nurse called back to see how long I would be here. She couldn't discuss anything. She told me not to worry. Oh sure. Later.

Thoughts

I think it's going to rain today and my lawn will be so happy. It is brown and strawlike since not only has the rain not fallen but no one in this house has turned on the sprinklers. Yesterday I did and the huge sigh of relief and gulping of water could be heard all over the neighborhood. No. Really. The lawn was ecstatic and would have danced if it could have loosened its little feet from the rock hard all dried up ground.



Meanwhile, my husband has been on the hunt for a new coffee maker. The one we have is about seven years old or maybe a little older and it never rests. Lately it's just one pot a day but used to be two or three. He doesn't like the color the inside of the water holder has turned. I clean it (when I think of it and that's when the steam is filling the kitchen) and still, the white is no longer white. The problem with a new coffee maker is that I have an abundance of filters and they are cone shaped. All the new pots he has looked at need the other kind of filter. What a problem huh? I should only have problems like that always.

A neighbor invited everyone to his house to watch the football game. He went clamming the day before and fishing as well. He had a huge amount of steamers and he made chowder out of his fish catch. What a feast. We brought wine and some brought beer and it was so grand to be with such a lovely group of people. We spanned the ages from mid 20's to 60's and how delightful it was to meet and greet people we see in passing. The sound of conversation coming from that house was like a concert of good will.

Today is overcast and sprinkly and perfect. The beach is fogged in and empty. I LOVE it here.

Wondering

Do you think that in the 30's in Germany people sat there saying that all of that junk is about the Jews. It has nothing to do with us. Just mind your own business and life will be fine. Cause if so, that's what we're doing about all that nutty Muslim stuff. So a few heads get chopped off and women get beaten and so what....it has nothing to do with us. What the heck, all those bombs in Israel, it has to do with the Jews....nothing to see here. Move along.

I hate what's happening and I'm ashamed of our journalists and most of our politicians. I truly am.

Go Sox

Just came back from a walk with my neighbors ... hate to say it but we went to the Dairy Queen. Yes. We. Did. What a glorious night. The stars are sparkling away and the sky is so huge and the air is like a narcotic...if I knew what one was like. It just puts you into a coma it smells so fabulous and is balmy and very like palm trees should be out there. As I sit here and type the Red Sox (Yay team) are playing and I think they're winning. When I was a kid, we never had good reception here and my father and uncles would be outside with the radio on the roof of a car and they would be trying to attach something that would be like an antenna and they would hold it over their heads and turn and twist until the sound sort of came in and then we would all have to be very very very silent so we could hear "swing and a miss" or whatever those baseball guys would be saying. The problem here is that without cable, there is no TV and without some really good radio reception you can only get New York channels and those Yankees, we don't like em.

I love it here and I love this time of year. Go Sox.

Thanks

Today was starting to be a lot like yesterday but then I checked in here and Julie, you are the best ever, Julie commented on yesterday's yelping help me's and the psalms she quoted have soothed my soul. I am so grateful. Thanks Julie.

King David is my Hero

I am so beaten. I have been slammed sideways and run over since I got back here. This too shall pass and then I will be stronger and wiser. King David is a good role model. He had Saul after him and I have . . . never mind. David hid in a cave and wrote psalms. I need a cave. I know that I have a world of protection surrounding me. I have prayed and my prayers are always answered. I will pray some more and have me some deep breathing time.

Not too long ago I was panicking every night over things out of my control. I would try to recall that psalm about the chickens under the wings or something of that sort. That image of me under the wings of God. God gathering me up and protecting me was the only way I could eventually drift off. Now I have more issues but having lived through that other one all that time ago I can't panic as I did. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am nervous and stressed but that panic thing doesn't get too far. I stop it with a prayer and then I'm only nervous and stressed. My blood pressure is getting a work out for sure.

Memories

For the record, I am a child of the 50's and 60's. I went to college from 61 to 65 in Harvard Square (or just outside of it). My contemporaries served or died in Vietnam. My female friends burned their bras, yes, they did and marched for the ability to obtain birth control, not abortion, birth control. Do you believe it? Abortion was later. We tip toed around sexual freedom and drugs were a huge unknown out there on the horizon believe it or not. We smoked, just cigarettes, and on occasion snuck a drink with a fake ID. We had curfews, yes we did.


Our schools were all female or all male and when co-ed, the dorms were all segregated by gender. We had rules upon rules upon rules most of which were designed to allow us to reach adult age without ruining our lives. When the rules abound the rebellions are fairly harmless. We didn't have to do much to break a rule since there were so many. We wore bermudas on campus even though they were not allowed during the week. Yes! We did! We talked during study hours and left our dorms to smoke cigarettes on the grounds even though, you got it, it was not allowed. Oh yes, we were the scamps and rebels. We were safe though! During the 4 years of college we knew of one pregnancy and that resulted in a wedding. We talked about everything unlike our mothers who never shared the truth with anyone most of all not with a family member. We would have known about any huge issues, there were, after all, only 85 of us in our class. We all knew each other and although we had our separate groups, we all interacted, if only to talk about each other.


We didn't have cell phones or phone lines in our rooms. Each floor of the dorm had a pay phone and believe it or not, in our three story dorm each of the pay phones worked on the same number so if one was in use on one floor neither of the other two would work. They were extensions of the first phone. How did we survive? Yet we did. One TV in the common room on the first floor. Imagine getting everyone to agree to watch one show? We learned how to co-operate or do without. Actually I don't remember watching much TV. Mostly we gathered in the smoker and talked forever.

We gathered and talked but not about much. We talked about tests coming up weekend festivities or boredoms. We talked about people places and things. I don't recall much going on in the political arena and yet we lived through the Kennedy assassination, the Great Society and the evacuation of Saigon. Most of our friends were engaged to or married to boys of draft age who either enlisted to avoid total loss of control or pursued diligently student deferments. There were none, that we knew of, who skipped to Canada or joined the Kerry nonsense.

I don't know about you but during the Watergate fiasco I turned the radio and the TV off and walked away from just about every serious discussion since somehow, without delving into the political scene, I knew the playground scene. Yes, I was trained to be a teacher and I could see the bullies on both sides. The side that won had the big microphone and they are still pounding on it. They protect their own and pig pile on the other side. It's been going on for centuries and it is still going on. I was tired of it back then and boy am I now. I could go on and on (and probably will later) but for now.....I have a bagel burning and coffee to drink. Later.

A Grown Up Day

My husband and I have been in the car since 9AM this morning and have driven and stopped and driven some more. It all began when he said that he had to take the car in for servicing and it would take a couple of hours. I am never here with him, still commuting for three days away and 4 days here and he works 2 of the four days and ya da yada and so forth. Anyway I said I would go with him and after the service stop he had service calls to make and I would drive along with him keeping him company and while he went to the client and did what he does I would sit in the car waiting and reading a book or whatever. Thus went our day. We only had one violent outburst with screaming and pouting and I am so proud of myself, no tears. When done with that we went out to eat and shared a bowl of soup along with red curry and shrimp. We are so grown up. Now we are home and the Red Sox are on and I must hurry and fall asleep in my recliner. Day is done.

Better Now

Okay. I'm over my break down. I have no time to post anything more so I will return. Just wanted to clear the postings with the big news that I am clear and done with all the judgemental kinds of things I was thinking yesterday . . maybe. Later

signs of a sociopath

Glib and superficially charming, manipulative and cunning - or is it conning? - grandiose sense of self, pathological liar, lack of remorse, shame or guilt, shallow emotions, parasitic lifestyle, enormous sense of entitlement. Hmmm.....sounds like someone I know.

Polls and Bleachers

A new and brief revelation which is kind of in keeping with the previous Done With That thinking. My family is operating like the Clintons or the Dems…..they take a poll, constructed along the story line to fit their reality and the results, in their favor of course, are all they need to confirm their reality. There is no right or wrong unless you have the votes. Yikes. What planet have I landed on? I always called it the bleachers....you get as many people on the bench with you as will fit and the other guy tries to do the same.....the winner has the most people

So Done with That

I must find quiet time to be with the Lord. I am experiencing a crisis in behaviour. I have always been the one in the family to bend and bow and scrape and even if it is through clenched teeth I always inquire for your health and happiness. Well I'm so done with that. I am sick to death of people who obsess over their hurt feelings. When it is not outwardly obvious that they have been snubbed or overlooked or whatever they think makes their little soap opera click for them, they make something up and tell the world. They get those sympathetic murmurings and their hands get held and they have the spotlight forever. They get people angry with the offenders and spend their time fueling the fires. I AM DONE WITH BEING THE GOAT!!!!!! Now I have to find time to work on being done in a strong and silent way. The Lord loves us all, I have to do that too. Pray for me while I pray for them and me too.

Roses and Beauty Surround me

A glorious day for sure. The sun is out and the air is moving. It is very warm but not as humid as it's been. Here in my world every street is line with trees and yards are filled with blooms of every variety. There is a neighborhood nearby that has nothing but landscapers crawling over the yards fluffing up the shrubbery and edging the lawn and dying the roses red. I never see anyone who might actually live in those gorgeous places but their minions are scampering everywhere. I am so blessed to be able to walk through the most beautiful surroundings. I am so mellow when I return, sweaty but mellow. Later. I must shower and clean up my act.

Finally W Speaks Up

W has finally stood up and spoken words I have wanted to hear for years and years and years. He has publicly spoken words no Dem wanted to hear. Vietnam was indeed a failure, it was a failure of will on the part of the Congress of the USA and turning our backs on the people who were relying on us resulted in a bloodbath that shames us to this day. No one wants to hear that version of the story

In Real Clear Politics today William Kristol's column says it all. Happy Sunday.

Tag Team Destroyers

I don't understand how the Clintons, after the 8 years during which they accomplished none of the things which existed and they now say they will snap their fingers and cure the world, how can they walk with their heads high as if the past was not the past and yes, I know, the past is the past but it exists and there was damage done and there has been no repentance and there is complete denial of the facts and off they go to glory and perks and luxurious living more that they have now which is more than most have. Whew. That exhausted me. But seriously! What's with this?

Also notice how I say they? Oh Yes! Make no Mistake. We get him too and he, in fact, regardless of all the feministas out there, he is pulling her strings. Oh Yes! She, in the past, has made such huge bloopers in such public ways that she had to do herself over and who do you think is slick enough to tell her how and what and when. How to undo the term limits stuff. Leave it to slick willy to figure that out and with his PT Barnum thought patterns, there is more than one sucker born every minute. That man has played everyone for a sucker all his life and she is the perfect partner. Like serial killers, tag team destroyers.

Wait

Wait on the Lord. I awoke this morning to that message. My radio ministry is alive and well at my bedside. The Lord's time is not my time. How better to get to know Him? Wait, wait, wait and wait with patience and open ears, eyes and heart. I try. I don't shake my fist as much as I used to. Oh, now and then I clench my teeth and roll my eyes as I say "I'm wai-ting!" But not so much as I did years ago, During the time of strife following my parents and sibs' deaths I prayed for relief. I begged to be pushed under His wings and gathered to Him like the hen does for her chicks and He did that for me. I couldn't have slept otherwise. I would be spiraling into a major anxiety attack and Poof! peace would swarm over me and I would drift away secure in His love. What a miracle and what a blessing. I have let the gratitude for that time slip away and have neglected to speak words of appreciation to the Lord for His love and patience with me during that time. Thank you Lord for always holding me close and sheltering me from the trials I am too weak to bear. You always are with me and moving me through the circumstances you have brought me to. Even when I have brought myself to those circumstances due to my pride and stubbornness, You have still been there. Help me to wait for You and Your answer. Help me to be patient and still. Bless me Lord as You always have and will. I pray in Jesus' name Amen.

A Tale of Two Gemmas

I am back at work and away from family. I am finding it harder and harder to do this. I feel like a split personality. In one life I am married and live by the ocean with my husband and dog. I keep house, make soups and salads, have wine before dinner, walk every morning, water the tomatoes, clip the herbs, do the laundry, socialize with friends and so forth. In my other life I am a woman alone. I live in that big old house that always looks all shut up. I go to the office and hear about everyone's lives. I see pictures of their children and sports events and birthdays. I walk at lunch hour and when I go to the mailbox. I make healthy lunches from what I bring to work. I eat salads and home made soups. I bring fruit to work and share it with the others. I don't watch the normal TV shows and I read the Bible of all things. I am kind of a lonely old maiden aunt. When I ever can give up the lonely maiden aunt part of me where will it go I wonder.

Work!

I'm at work and now I now how I feel about the end of the vacation. I wish it hadn't ended. I'm leaving work early however because I forgot to take my blood pressure pills and I think my head is going to explode. I must go home and pill out. Later

A Thought

I might have already written this but here goes. I have uncovered a brilliant idea and this may be the second time I have done so. Just thinking. You know that guide book, I think it's Zagat's Guide to everything travel wise. Restaurants and hotels are reviewed, that one? Well here goes. All of those young celebrities or celebrity wannabe's will be signing up for this one. It will be like a Zagat guide to rehab locations. Paris or Brittany or Lindsay have already been to most. All they have to do is collaborate and start the book. The five star...no make that three star...no make that three celebs of sorts....guide to recovery spas. Or whatever.....

Peace

One more thing....these anti war groups are entitled to do what they do but why they are upset with us this time around is beyond me. The defend yourself urge should be squashed according to them. Why don't they protest the aggressive behavior of the Bomb squad urchins in the Arab street. Why, when a country - Israel for example - defending itself - are they denigrated? Why are the bullies in school coddled and those who stand up and defend themselves sent for counseling and suspended? What is wrong with this picture? Jesus said meek not weak for goodness' sake. I'm done for the moment. I'll give peace a chance as long as I can keep my defensive weapons just in case those people are lying to me. Remember the Germans telling the Jews that the train was taking them to a good place..a work camp...just for a while. Take the bar of soap and go to the showers. Go quietly. You'll be fine. I fear the peace mongers are of a similar mind set. They think they'll be the last men standing and will run the show.

Last Day of Vaca

Last vacation day and I'm not sure how I feel about all the previous days of no work. It felt nice although lazy. Retirement looms ahead and dangles all the possibilities of the universe but the kick is that I have to seize the moment and do those possibilities. Will I have the energy and desire to move? I'm not sure. I do know that spending more than four days at a time in one place makes it possible to connect with the community and make commitments to things like church programs, bible study, fitness classes and such. I went to a Tai Chi class yesterday and when it broke one of the women said "See you Thursday". Thursday too? I asked and she said the class was two sessions per week, Thursday at 6:30 pm and Sunday morning. I won't make the Thursday session, I said, because I will be working and by the time I get down Thursdays it is 7:30 or later. That's no excuse she said, see you Thursday. Sigh. I will see her on Sunday. The pain is bound to be a distant memory by then.

On with the day - I have just finished my morning walk and the pain? she's not so bad. At least the late snack of last night has been partially erased by the calories just burned and the urge to have a breakfast sandwich and homefries was beaten to a pulp and the cereal and banana won.

Later

Life and Lamb Chops are equally Good

Still have nothing but it's early and cooler air is coming they say. This week has been so long overdue. I am merely here and doing nothing but normal day to day things. I walk every morning and do errands of sorts for the rest of the day. My biggest chore is to figure out what to defrost for dinner. Grilling is for men. Yes we say that in the house of us. He loves to and he does it. I am a chopper and a side dish lady. Last night? Lamb chops of the loin variety, grilled to perfection. I was on the case of curried brown rice served with zucchini, mushrooms onion and green peppers. Man, that was some good dinner. It was followed with strawberry Edy's low cal frozen yogurt smothered with fresh sliced strawberries. That was followed with a push back in the recliner and I believe I heard me some snoring.

Life is Good. Bless you all. I have some thoughts on life which will be entered later. Families and in-laws and relationships of all sorts will be discussed. Later - - -

Vacation = Vacant Brain

I am taking vacation time this week. I have not really done that for a while...oh, I take the long weekend but the middle of the week time has been work time always. This week? Not so. That reminds me of a fellow I used to work with a long time ago. His last name was Smart and everyone called him Notso. We were funny and clever eh?

I have been mindless and addled with free time and I will have to return when my wits are whole and my energy level is higher than slug. The weather is calling me outside and I always do as I am told. August on the Cape is heaven on earth.

A Pun and a Link

Just read this, "A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother". Don't you love it?

There's another thing I read but it's not a pun. A blog I read, among the several hundred, is Sigmund, Carl and Alfred. Yes, they are psychiatrists and they are great. Let me provide a link now and you can go forth and peruse. Now let's see if I know how to do this. -- I think I did it and we'll see. Anyhow, on that blog is a statement. "We have spoken to your mother. We know everything." Again. Love it. Hope that link works and you enjoy the psychs. Later

The Globing Cooling of Mars

I was thinking on the way in to work this morning that Global Warming is an amazing phenomenon. Everyone has an opinion. Few people are neutral, although I am sure there are many who are. The neutral folk are the quiet folk. I recently read that it is more damaging to the planet to walk to your destination than it is to drive and the reasons were the energy expended created a greater need for food and the food production effort caused more carbon dioxide emissions than the operation of the automobile. The author's conclusion was that it makes more sense for the planet if we all just sit still, don't eat and try very hard not to exhale. Then it struck me. I had an AHA moment, one of those EUREKA things like the guy in the bath tub or was it Newton under the apple tree, whatever, I realized that Mars probably once was inhabited but Global Warmers developed and imposed their theories and as a result the planet was rescued from the devastation that life forces cause and it sits today cool and calm and a monument to what Al Gore can do for us as well. Why are we not sending that man every cent we can?

H-H-H Hazy Hot Humid

Strange weather, hot, humid, hazy, major thunderboomers and lightening followed by downpour then instead of the usual cool air....more hot, humid hazy and so on and so on. Dampness and heat pervade. The house feels like everything is made out of those blotters that banks used to give out. You know the kind, dip them in water and they turn into a sponge. Well we are now sponges. Nothing feels right and oooooh everything has that smell. The wet dog smell is everywhere even where there are no dogs.

Back to the city with me today and the heat is hotter, the humidity is higher and the haze?..she is hazier. People with curly hair have it curled like corkscrews and those of us trying to poof up the straight as stick stuff? Fuhgedaboudit.

Have a lovely day wherever you are and stay cool!

Thoughts

I watched a show called Reservations (I think) with a chef/connoisseur named Anthony Bourdain (?sp) I think. He travels all over the world sampling native cuisine and informing us of various customs, historical landmarks events etc. This show took place in Korea and he had as a guide a very charming young Korean girl. I came in as he was taken to her family's New Year's Eve celebration which involved showing great respect to the elder family members. The grandfather sat in a room, the young guide was adorned in a ceremonial garment which was very lovely. She then entered the room and kneeled very low in front of her grandfather and as she sat up she wished him long life and many blessings in the coming year.

The family then sat down to a feast of, naturally, Korean specialities. Oh the table was full and overflowing with food and the general mood was festive. The voice over said something like, after resisting traveling to this country Anthony found a culture rich with family values and his guide, through her deep love of family and pride in her country brought him out of his snarkiness to a point where he was awash with appreciation for the land and the people.

This same host, by the way, has been known to snark at the USA, from which he hails. He seems in awe of the love people have for their country and its culture as long as it's a foreign country. He is unhappy about the latest wave of resistance to ILLEGAL immigration to his country. I guess he doesn't see that Americans are basically law and order types. I know it's hard to grasp that when you see the antics of our politicians, especially the stellar examples in Congress this week. Why is it that waving a flag is only OK if it's not an American flag. Why do the elitist press and snarky upper privileged group of semi celebs feel that we Americans have no culture, have no customs worth admiring and whatever we have historically should be sneered at or buried. I don't get it.

Don't Hurry Summer

Start of the month and I can't believe it's August. Used to be August was the start of the count down. School starts when? How many more days? The closer we got to the end of the month the more we squished into the days of freedom. You see, we were away at Cape Cod for the whole entire summer. Over the bridge and off to the Cape and nothing to do allllllll summer long except swim and swim and collect shells and swim and row the boat and swim. No shoes and basically no clothes except for bathing suits allllllll summer long and boy howdy they were long summers. Cousins and aunts and uncles and beach and even when it rained you went to the beach. Walk in the rain and puddles and of course swim..why not? The rain was wet wasn't it? The ocean salt would be washed away by the rain on the walk home.

By Labor Day the place would empty out and with all the packing and cleaning and fewer and fewer kids to play with it was kind of ok to head back home for school and shoes and winter. Still, August is a don't rush the days kind of month because I want summer to linger just a while longer. I'm still at the Cape - weekends anyhow -- oh all right! Long Weekends. YAY! I'm old and I can take those long weekends. I'm so old I should be retired but that's another story altogether. Later. I'm still at the Cape and have those same "oh no shoes" kind of feelings. Today I have to work and it's a perfect beach day...hot - humid - some kind of bug buzzing in the background. Hurry! Get to the beach! Jump in the ocean....float. Floating is a wonderful thing. Thank you Lord for floating and memories and weekends.

Walk the Walk

Why is John Murtha still in office? Why is Ted Kennedy still in office? Why the long face John Kerry (just had to throw that in)? Honestly why are these old money grabbers still around? Murtha is amazingly slippery and arrogant and what are these ear marks about other than making people with lots of money more money. Aren't we tired of that old tired stuff about the poor being thrown at us by people with more money that the US Treasury? How sadly simple we all are not to get to the polls every single available time we can vote. We need to get out the vote and keep it up. We need to remove incumbents when they are sucking us dry. We need to keep the seats from warming up and taking the shape of the ass that's in 'em. Are we really so shallow that we think tax the rich is a wonderful thing? Let us make more money by lowering taxes is what we should be screaming. Live by the rules you impose on us is another thing we should be screaming. Use that health care model on yourselves first and get on Social Security and then pound your drums. Jeeeese Louise I am tired of that privileged bunch dictating to us from the vacuum where their souls used to be.

Feet Don't Fail Me Now

Here's something interesting. That dry cracked skin on the heels of my feet? The smear Vaseline all over every night and hope for a miracle? The dermatologist said to hit the feet with a fungicide and after two weeks of treating that way...what's left is the dry skin. Ever hear of such a thing? Me either but I'm doing it. These feet will be soft and lovely one day. Or at least if there is a fungus thing I will run it out of town.

Self healing

Dermatologist this am. I have been waiting so long for this appointment the problem I originally called about has cleared up. There's a sensitive spot on my forehead which feels like dry skin but doesn't look like it, it looks like nothing. Well today it is nothing. I can't even feel where I used to feel that sensitivity. Tomorrow? She'll be back. Yes I have performed the miracle of curing myself. Later....

WORK!!

Off to the big city and WORK in the office as opposed to WORK at home. The word WORK is supposed to be pronounced like Maynard G Krebbs did in Dobie Gillis, WORK!!! Does anyone else have a head that brings that stuff back unsolicited? My husband calls it brain sludge. It floats around in there an occasionally surfaces with out being called up.

One of my oldest best friends was with me for the weekend. She is going through such a rough patch. Her mother died a year ago and her husband has not been well since. He is visiting his family and she will join him in a week but meanwhile, his family calls here every five minutes to report on his welfare. She is so worried about him anyway and so missing her mother and well, we had a nice time anyhow but I'm praying for her and her husband as well as me and mine.

On with the day. Bless us Lord and keep us safe and strong.

News Fatigue

From time to time I read current events on the various blogs available on the net. Actually, I must admit, I am obsessed. I cannot start the day without a zoom through the various places I always visit. I’ve written about this before and so let me reiterate, I have news blogs, plain old blogs, blogs of the soap opera type, blogs by shrinks, health blogs and religious type blogs. I am a blog nut. In order to shorten my morning fix I have a must see folder and today they are all abuzz with the John Doe amendment in some bill that the Dems voted overwhelmingly to cut. The amendment protected whistleblowers actually. When you see something suspicious you say something and it’s checked out and if it’s nothing the person or people you reported go on their way. Some go on their way to sue the whistleblower. This amendment protected the snitchers from those lawsuits which would probably whine that they were picked on due to their size, shape, color, religion etc. Never would the snitching be based on legitimate cause for concern such as the Fabulous Flying Imams and the actions they were taking to draw attention to themselves, get that report in and get a huge publicity campaign and lawsuit cooking.

What is the thinking behind the vote that was just taken? We’ll never know the truth so we are left to speculate and naturally, human nature being human, we think the worst. I have to go pray and read the Gospel of Mark. I am going all the way through start to finish and obsess about the Good News rather than the state of affairs in Washington DC. Bless you all. God is still on His throne.

Another Pizza Roller Incident

The firemen in our little town decided that they would use a home which had suffered damage during an electrical storm and was scheduled to be torn down for a practise excercise. Fire engines were dispatched and ladders climbed and windows smashed and holes put in the roof and roof joists (whatever they are) sawed through and you name it they did it. Wrong house. Is that worse than the Pizza Roller Incident or what? Our esteemed selectmen commended them for their proactive approach to training and then said they would take steps to avoid a problem like that occurring in the future. Can you see the training for that? OK Men. Read the address of the house out loud please! Will the address checker de-truck and evaluate the house that we think is burning? Will the street sign reader please report? Will the house number double checker please co-ordinate with the street sign reader?

I'll bet if they were able to increase our property taxes to the level they wanted, they would have had firefighters on the force who could actually read. I know I know knocking the first responders is so wrong. Sorry. Sorry Sorry.

Love that C.S. Lewis

An excerpt from C.S. Lewis, an essay titled Equality written in 1943. Could this have been written today?

"Where men are forbidden to honor a king they honour millionaires, athletes or film stars instead: even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison."

Granted in this case the king referred to an actual monarchy since he was English and yet if we were to change king to any decent leader in the religious world or political world or whatever...if our heroes and honorable role models are ridiculed and thrown to the ground...isn't this what we have left? Look at what is going on around us now due to the sniping and back stabbing and ridiculing and undermining of every solid person of substance.

Just Rambling

Well work I did and what a nasty mood I brought with me. I tore into just about everyone about everything and surprisingly, got a lot accomplished. I am beat right now and ready for zoning out in front of the TV but first - - -



I came up with a whopping revelation.. again. I am in the middle of some turmoil and boy is this emotion stuff taking its toll. I had a situation in which an action I took has raised some eyebrows..you see, the thing I did I legally didn't have to do but I did it anyway and people don't understand that I had to do it because it was the right thing to do. I am so surprised that so many people don't connect with that. It seems that I am from a totally different planet.

Oh well. I am reading C.S. Lewis again -- one of his books that I have is called The Business of Heaven, it's a book of daily readings and I keep forgetting it exists and then I pick it up and I'm knocked out by how timeless his writings are -- not to compare it to the Bible which is the definition of timeless wisdom but since he was such a solid Christian he was steeped in the timeless wisdom of Christianity and God gave him such a gift that he could write it down in language anyone can understand. Those who say they can't are willfully blind . . just sayin'.

Gotta go forth and be corporate. Bless you all and pray as I do that we are able to stay in God's will. I wish we would get very clear memos on a daily basis and a check list at night. If Mom's were God we might.

To Play Hookey or Not

I have been toying with playing hookey since the weekend. I went to lunch with some lovely ladies I worked with for years. We are all in the area and twice a year whether we need to or not we get together for lunch. One is single and always has been. She lives such a fabulous single life. She has a condo here and in Florida. The Florida condo she shares with a couple of female friends. She travels several times a year to Europe or somewhere in the states. She volunteers for any number of community action things and works part time in the summer to supplement her winter wanderings. She has many friends and interests and when we leave, the gal I always pick up and drive home says....wow, she is so busy she wears me out. She makes me feel like I am doing nothing. Then all the way home the two of rationalize our doing nothing.

Anyhow my busy friend said that she is working for a real screwball this summer and she is feeling some stress. The other day she realized that if she is not happy at work then she should not go. I think she's right. That's what solidifies my hookiness. I'm going though. I will connect later and advise.

My Nice New Friends

I've been off on a few different directions. I am participating in a cyber girls' club. We are supporting each other in our dietary challenges. We all, whether for health or cosmetic or who knows what reasons, are working on our intake and output of calories. Calories can be taken in in many forms and burned up in many as well. If you don't burn much you should take in less if you want to lose or maintain your size. Notice how I have avoided the D word and the W word. What are those words you may ask? You may but I won't answer because if you don't know what they are.....go. away. Take your skinny athletic self somewhere and gnaw on some fruit and vegetables and lean protein. Don't gnaw on much though. You never do. You only gnaw when hungry and when not hungry you stop. Oh!!!! Go!!! Away!!

Well, glad I got that over with. The group I am writing with and reading are all really nice and I am very thankful for the connection. I am much more aware of the D word and really...isn't that what makes it work as it should? The awareness and being thoughtful.

It's nice to meet nice people and that's what I've done. My mother would be so proud. She always liked it when I went out and met nice friends. If she were still with me I would have her sitting here reading and writing with me. She would want to meet everyone.

I am sooooo tired now. It's hot and humid and I have been up and down stairs all day with laundry and such. Got to go sit and cool down. I'll be back...as Ahnold says.

Pray for the Day

So far , so good, I have managed to elude the pizza roller. Today will be a challenge however. Yesterday was a day of gathering and evading deadlines and establishing new deadlines for the same things. Sound cryptic? It all is. Today the rubber meets the road and all but two of the long list of projects that must be completed and handed off by Friday are mine. There are two that are the accountants and he has, I hope all the information he needs.

There are other looming things and meetings for today and I will need God to wrap me in His arms and keep me safe throughout them. Long long ago things are still in the front of people's minds. Bubbling cauldrons have been stirred and eyes of newts have been dropped in and I need God to put me under His wings and let me find refuge in that fortress and all of the other power prayers I can think of I have been thinking and praying. The big picture makes most of this silly but I can't seem to step out of the muck and get a glimpse of that picture. When I do step out, I'm hurled back. I heard a radio minister this morning say that life can be like a giant squid. It wraps those tentacles around you and pulls you down into the black ocean waters. You need to call out to God and He will pull you free.

I know I will be safe and only goodness and mercy will follow me and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Thank you Jesus.

The Pizza Roller Incident

Sunday was pretty darned good, a beautiful sunny day and not too humid. Hubby and I took a ride to pick up some not necessary but wanted items and it was a lovely ride along a little traveled but gorgeous part of our world. The route we took was winding and lined with old weathered shingled homes, fabulous gardens and antique shops and the closest thing to a strip mall was a corner store that expanded 40 years ago and later subdivided so that a family member could run a sub shop, I'm guessing at the history, I do that a lot. At any rate, as you can see we had a day of leisure and relaxed appreciation of the part of the world we live in.



Monday, another story. The news started my day and I had to listen to the later broadcast to be sure I wasn't dreaming and making up the lead story. A woman got her head caught in a pizza roller while opening up the pizza parlor for the day. She was air lifted to a major hospital for medical attention. Now, how in the world does that happen? And you think you had a bad Monday. Think of the pizza roller lady. Not only does she have the recovery from the injuries but the whole world around her knows about the incident. Imagine how her return to work will be handled.

The rest of the day was one minor irritation after another and finally good night. The pizza roller incident did keep everything in perspective. My mother would say, "If you think you can feel sorry for yourself just think about all the youngsters out there with no legs or no hands or no hearing . . . . " she would go on and on and come up with every known horrible affliction she could imagine and when she finally had us totally doubled up with pain for all those poor children well, then her job was done. Now I just have to think of the pizza roller lady and my day seems just fine thanks.

Hope your day is smooth and roller free.

Sundays are Glorious

The most beautiful day of the week. I just read Psalm 16 and I think that will be my Psalm of the week. I have never had a Psalm of the week but this week I am going to. This is such a joyful day and this Psalm says it all.

I am about to go with the spouse to walk the dog. My husband's been in an air cast to his knee for 3 weeks and has at least 3 more weeks to go. A high ankle sprain they say. Last night he felt a sharp pain just above that cast in the knee area. He is still sensitive and finding it hard to walk easily. Monday he will go to the orthopedic expert to see what if any other damage he has wrought. He doesn't realize that casts are to partially slow you down.


Off we go into the day.

Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.

Non-Vacation Blues

And for today. . . . we are doing the usual Saturday things which involve running and fetching and laundry and the dump and then collapse in the recliner to nap but not able to because neighbors stop by and say hi and what's up for later. Being in a summer place where people are on vacation or weekending makes it tough when you're here, living a non-vacation life. Vacations mean never having to do laundry or cook if you don't want to. Vacations mean all the clothes you have are freshly washed and ironed and sometimes new. Vacations mean lots of happy hours and snacks and yikes!!! We are the wrinkled non-vacationers here all the time vacuuming and shopping getting ready for work on Monday folks. Most of the time I love the easy going drop in and say hi have a glass of wine laugh and snack but there are days, and this is one of them where all the things left undone for the past couple of weekends due to my pain in the neck . . family duties. . graduation parties. . bridal showers . . all those undone things are calling to me. Gemma, your laundry wants you to pay attention. Gemma, change the sheets on the bed. Gemma dust for the love of Pete. Who is Pete? No one could ever tell me.

I must obey the call of the dirty dishes and laundry and the unused vacuum cleaner.

I will be back when things are a bit more sparkly.

Epiphanies and Burkas

I just had an epiphany....those crazy Muslims (not the nice ones but the one who behead and take stones to women and lop off body parts) should just trust Allah to take care of business and they should just take care of themselves and not their neighbors. Take for instance that crazy mullah or imam or whatever who exhorted his followers - all young and I emphasize young - men to stay and fight in the mosque while he, dressed as a woman in a burka (sp) tried to escape.

Happy Fourth

Happy Fourth of July!

The sky is so blue right now, it appears that today will be glorious and perfect for those cookouts and parades and whatever anyone does outdoors for the Fourth. We are going to a cookout and the hostess was so afraid it would rain. She must be delirious with this beginning. We will all hope for more as the day goes on.

Because of this party, hot crab dip, seven layer taco dip, chicken and broccoli salad, greek salad, chicken wings, onion dip, not to mention all the grilling going on and the dessert table with lemon squares, red white and blue trifle which sits next to chocolate trifle with strawberries dipped in chocolate, I will not glom on about dieting but tomorrow? she hits the road for low calorie splendors and moving along the walking path.

See ya then. God Bless us everyone.

PAIN

All right, I have been working and working and not learning any new things and I have set me some goals for sure. I want to learn all there is to learn about EBAY and selling stuff. Help me out here. What do I have to do, where do I go to learn all of the super selling skills to unload me of tons of tons of stuff.



Also I have to read my Bible more diligently. I listen to everyone who talks about the Bible. Woodrow Kroll(sp?) and John MacArthur and Robby Zacharias and David whatsisname....oh I could go on -- and on -- and I might but I won't...I listen all the time early morning and late in the night. The Bible answer man is another and Focus on the Family and yadadayada. BUT I must do my own reading of the Word. I love it and need to do it. I must get disciplined.



I also must strectch and strengthen my body.... I am old Father whatever your name is and I need to work on

Since leaving off there and now I have been suffering with such severe neck pain that in order to get the head looking to the left, the whole body must move there. I am typing now to clean this post up but it hurts to do this so BYE......

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I wrote this earlier

A beautiful day in the neighborhood, the sun is out, the sky is blue, my husband is glad to be with me and vice versa, we have a great rescue dog who is improving daily, no, make that monthly. She is a really lovely dog but like all of us she has flaws. The flaws are not fatal thank you. She LOVES people and zoooooms in on them with all 94 pounds of her. Yikes! That plus the Rottweiler face will do it for most. There are those who hold their ground and are rewarded with wagging and wagging and my husband huffing and puffing to hold her back. Great leaping whines of joy and licks follow.

We are done with the walk and she has twanged herself into a nap. It’s exhausting being a giant puppy.

I am attempting to work from home and the computer remote access is on again and off again. I have downloaded most of what I need to this computer so I should be able to get most of what I want done. This has been a very funny time for me. I keep thinking I’m depressed and then again I feel fine. I think the change of seasons always has me in a bit of an emotional swirl. Just when I think I’m so well balanced. Well the point of that statement is to say that I should have taken some vacation time for this week and just stayed home. No. Couldn’t plan ahead so here I am finding any excuse to stay home and try to get the guilt of not working washed away by working at home. Make sense to you? Me either.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Another day, another day, as they say. Who are they that say that?

At any rate it is Friday and soon the weekend. Today is a day of meetings meetings meetings and during the mix, I have to have brake fluid put into my car which seems to be leaking that stuff. I don't have time to leave the car so fill the fluid, leave for the weekend and then upon return, drop off the car and leave it for repair.

Such is my lot in life. Meet and fix and meet some more and clean and haul and

I could go on and on but won't. Today is a glorious sunny day, a beautiful fat red cardinal of the loudest mouth ever is sitting nearby in one of those trees shouting out how happy he is to be here. How could I not be too? God Bless us everyone. Happy Friday and have a Wonderful as well as Wonderfilled Weekend.

Paying your own way

Haven't posted about a dream for ages. Had one last night that sort of woke me up. Some boy was going to college and was given the amount of money he had to pay. He was on his own and couldn't get a loan I guess. I don't know who he was or how I was involved beyond hearing and seeing him. I couldn't see who was talking to him I could only hear. Once he was told how much money he had to earn to pay the tuition he was told that going to college and graduating, Paying for everything on his own would be a major or significant feat. It would not, however be the most significant and thus would not be the only significant event in his life. I woke up.

What the hey? I don't have a clue but it still is with me.

Too Much to ponder

I am organizing my Internet favorites folders. I do this every now and then and I discover things about myself. I have to name the folders that I put blogs into and today I discovered that I like blogs that deal with current events and do it in a cut and dried way -- there aren't many of these and I tend to mix them in with CNN and Fox and Drudge and call that my news folder and I call that News1. Then I have a LOT of opinion laced ranting type blogs and these are portioned out between my lesser news folder entitled News and the pure blog stuff called Blogs1. Pretty darned clever of me so far right? Stick around. It gets better.

In the blogs stuff I have those I have to check every day and so I left them in the Blogs1 folder and created a Blogs folder for those others that I don't want to lose but sometimes they go stale (in my opinion) so I only check in from time to time. So far, four folders. Today I created a new category, I call it Soap Blogs. Here is where I find my greatest interest. These are a blend of news, rant and day to day activities of the blog host/hostess. I love to check and see what the bump on the ankle, the nausea, the unopened letter turned out to be. The pregnancy test, the sex of the child, the name of the new puppy you got it, I am a voyeur. I love to read diaries, look through anybody's photo albums check out yards and rooms and WHAT is wrong with me. I think I said ages ago that I could be, with a bit of encouragement, a peeping thomasina. I don't want to see any titillating actions, setting a table or washing the dishes is OK. I am way too curious about everybody on this planet and what makes them tick, how they live, what they do for recreation and how relationships are working for them. I am the same way with me by the way. I "search and ponder" the motives for my thoughts and behaviors. I look at my surroundings with an eye for . . would this appear normal to a visitor?

Oh me. Time to carry on. Why did I say carry on as opposed to get on with my day? What do you suppose I meant by that. Is the day ahead some kind of burden to be lifted on my shoulders and hauled along? Hmmmmmm

If wishes were horses

I am determined to enter a thought or at least words every day. There are great gaps of time during which I have no thoughts which should be recorded. The words are not easily found at that time either. The fingers on the keys typing are heavy and slow and .. .. .. you get the picture.

A friend of mine called yesterday. I saw her less than a month ago close to her birthday. She has spent years allowing her husband and mother to do for her and define her as helpless. I think that she thought she was very clever back then. She never had to food shop or clean the house more than a swipe here or there. Laundry was ok but not done on a regular basis. She had two kids that she brought up but the big stuff with the kids seemed to be left to the husband. They were boys and so that was right.

Now she is fit to be tied. The boys are gone and husband and mother, very old but capable, still treat her as a doorstop. They dismiss her opinions and mother orders her lunch for her, buys her clothes, tells her how to wear her hair. Husband picks out the drapes and the furniture, hangs the pictures, picks the tile for the bathroom, sends her to stay with her mother when his family arrives to visit for several weeks in the summer. Boy does she have anger issues. Boy when I think how I envied her years ago. As I worked two jobs to get through those bad days. As I watched everyone have kids and didn't. As I saw husbands providing for the household while mine drowned depression with scotch and eventually committed suicide. As I as I as I....

When my mother was in her dreary poor me moods I would cheer her up by telling her about everyone else's troubles. How sick is that? Am I still doing it? I hope not. I hope I am planning my future by not doing what I did all those years ago....I don't want to wish my time away by looking at the outside of someone else's life. The inside is messy just like my own...it's their mess and they have to deal with it just as I have to deal with mine.

God has us in the palm of his hand and loves us more than we ever will love ourselves. Let God take care of us. Blessings on all. Have a good day.

Done in and Done

Totally exhausted. Meeting after meeting after meeting today and then call after call from my friends and their reports on dysfunctional families. Believe me!! I have some experience there. Top it all off with political news of a migraine nature and I am done. Tomorrow is another day and on that note...God Bless you everyone.

Role Models

Just a quickie to keep this thing current. I was just reading Page Six in the NYP and what a hoot! The modern day celebs are all either in Jail or rehab or out on the town conflicted about their sexual identity. Five more years and the state asylums will be back and filled with the stars of tomorrow. Our young people have such fabulous role models.

The Need for Consistency

This immigration thing. Can the politicians really be so tone deaf? No one, well almost no one wants to throw the baby out with the bath water but honestly, do the politicians really thing that in the USA we want to reward line jumpers and law breakers? I guess they do. Rather than do away with the laws to deal with illegals why don't they concentrate on making it easier for legals to move into our system. . . what a world. The people they can make jump through hoops are given hoops higher and smaller to jump through. The people that defy them they appease. We are so conflicted. No appeasement in the Iraq arena but roll over and grovel here at home. People are angry because of the inconsistent application of law. Order depends on the agreement of both groups of people...those the order is imposed on must agree to follow the rules and when the rules are broken, those charged with maintaining order must agree to impose the penalties according to the rule of law. Chaos and frustration reign when the balance is disturbed and boy, the balance she is being disturbed.

No Stress At All

I just read Dr. Helen and she talked about how stress on the job affects your health. I tried to comment but had some trouble and since stress everywhere directly affects my blood pressure I thought I might comment here. First let me get the stress of weight gain out of the way. I MUST get a grip -- so far 5 of 6 pounds have crept up on me it depends on which scale I sneak onto. TODAY I march against weight gain. I know exactly what it is all about. Start of season. More wine more food more more more and less walking.

My first real job was teaching and I did that for one school year. I absorbed every pain and trauma those kids had. It was 6th grade and it was 1965. There was a ton of trauma but thank you there were no cell phones, sex in the hallways or gang bangers. The closest we came to anything sexual was when BG stood on her head out on the playground. All girls wore skirts or dresses so there you have it. She knew and loved the attention her lollipop undies got. I stapled the skirt between her legs and off we went. Couldn't do that today. No girl in 6th grade wears skirts or dresses anyway. Sigh.

That job had me crazy. I stayed at school way past the closing time preparing for the next day. I brought papers home to grade and lesson plans to write. Most of my friends were teachers and they never had all the junk I had. They were free every weekend and evening and were home by 3pm to work on their lives. I don't know how they did it but I didn't and it wore me down and I left after that year and went to work in the corporate world. I wanted a job from 9 to 5 and when I left the office it stayed there. I brought nothing home to work on or worry over. That worked for a while and then came the promotions. For 30 years I stayed late and went in on week ends and you got it!!! It's not the job it's me.

I have since retired and am locked into a family mess that one day I will write a book about. The stress is never ending but I keep recalling a discussion with a doctor years ago. My period was so irregular I thought I must have some dread something. Too young for menopause I went to the doctor and he asked a series of questions. Any stress in your life. I answered no and then he chatted with me about my life of late. Well, I said, my husband committed suicide several months ago. He had no insurance and had what I now see as manic depressive personality. He charged up a storm before he went and I had to pay off all the bills. The bill collectors, they were calling. I owed money to the funeral home. We had sold our home in another state and basically just paid the mortgage off and had enough to pay the mover. I was living in my parents home while they were in Florida for the winter. All my furniture and boxes were piled in two rooms. I had no real job. I was waiting for a transfer to come through from the place I worked out of state to the state I was now living. Major corporation, the job will come sooner or later but at the time I was a Kelly Girl. No. No stress in my life.

Imagine I didn't see any stress. It doesn't hit all at once. It drip drip drips on to you and accumulates bit by bit day by day until you creak under the burden but you are so used to it you don't even fell it any more. Your body does however and your spirit does and your mind has those little cubby holes where problems lurk and ....


I pray every day for those that burden me and for those I burden. Please Lord, just enough stress to make it interesting. Use the painful scrapings of problems to polish me like a stone in the river. Give me the strength to know when I should not resist. Keep me in the palm of Your hand and widen my horizons. I ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

Lazy Post

OK so I know what I said yesterday but ... here I am and not in the mood to post anything least of all the uncles' WWII stuff. I will say this about the Uncs, they all served. One was in the Air Force, he was a paratrooper. He jumped on Corregidor. Lost for six months. Another served on a submarine and three others in the Navy as well. Another 2 in the Army. Lots of Uncles and all served. My father was not in the service. My mother said he had me to thank for that. I was born just in time to move him further down the draft list.

My husband was in the Air Force and would sign up again right now if he could. We fly the flag proudly and love our country, respect our President and are disappointed in the House and Senate. What can I say? We're from Massachusetts and are particularly embarrassed when our Senators are named. Memorial Day is a day to be proud of our troops and history. It is also a day to go to the cemetery and put flowers on the graves of loved ones who have gone home ahead of you. I did. My mother is proud. She has a beautiful box of blooms in front of her stone and Dad's. I also brought a pinwheel with an angel on it. She loves that kind of stuff. Love you Mom and Dad. Later

Happpy start to the Season

It has been so long since I last surfaced and wrote anything. I have been here and I have been verbal, I just have not sat and typed. Happy Memorial Day to all! At this time of year, in my neck of the woods, every one is here and opening their summer places. The restaurants that are seasonal are open or opening and there are so many options that were not here a week ago.

Memorial Day is the opener for the summer season. Wear White!! Yikes, how great is that? Used to be that patent leather was ok from now on too. Easter was so close that Patent leather of the black variety was ok. Now. I hear. Patent leather is an all year round kind of thing. How grim is that? No fashion rules at all and I find that to be chaotic. About the only fashion rules I ever knew about was the no patent leather until Easter and the wear white from Memorial Day until Labor Day. What is happening to the civilized universe?

I am too old to keep all my rules and regulations to myself. I am at that age when I must impose my nonsense on everyone around me. I must go forth and Miss Mannerize....... I will post more tomorrow since I am calling in well and taking one more day of this loooooong week end. I look back on the recent demise of Mom and Dad and Brother one and Brother two and I have to say that my entire immediate family checked out at a rather early age. My mother and father didn't, they were both 87 but the brothers.....each were 66 and here I am .... 63. If I only have 3 more years well then .... hell and all..... I am going to relax and enjoy things. My luck though.... I will be more like the mother and the father.

Did I ever tell you about the Bay of Pigs incident? There I was, a sophomore in college with a test of some sort, probably a midterm the next day. There was, on TV my absolute heart throb of the moment, Andy Williams. My choice was, watch Andy or study. Then I hear of the possibility that the world as we knew it would probably end. Everyone on my dorm floor was lining up to use the phone and call home to say good bye, I love you to the fam. Yes, in those days we did not have phones in our rooms or in our pockets. Payphones in the hallways shared by the whole floor was the order of the day...that may explain why we are all, at our age, able to stand in line and wait our turn. At any rate, I chose to watch Andy Williams since we would all be dead tomorrow. Why study? I talked to my mother every ten minutes so why wait in line to say any more than I had already said. Off to the lounge where the TV was. Yes, we had no TV's in our rooms. Only one in each dorm and it was in the community room....how deprived were we? Well. The next day...you know we were all still alive and DAMN!! That was the start of all the wrong decisions I have made for lo these 63 years. Nevertheless....I love it here and I will probably live like I won't make that 87 thing and I will spend what little money I have saved and stay out of work to linger here rather than go back to the winter house and not sell the winter house because I love it and and and ......

O I am so happy that summer is upon us -----Happy Memorial Day! Tomorrow I will write of my uncles and their service experiences..... that's during the big one....WWII

Sad Time of Year

When isn't it a sad time? I guess when I'm not sad.

May 9th, 1999, Mother's Day, Mom died. Life has never been the same. But then, life has been changing every day for the past 62 years. Life always changes. Things are never the same. God planned it that way. Everything changes but God. He is eternal and everlasting

Don't Worry Be Happy

I just read that I have posted a lot of times and Oh My! am I proud of me. I really am since I am seldom a finisher. I am a starter and a plodder but the finish line??? she eludes me. I am very pleased that I have been posting as long as I have. I have always kept journals and worried. I think I talked about this before. I always worried that someone would read what I really thought about something or someone and what's that about anyway? I have as much right to an opinion as Rosie for Pete's sake or Al Gore or that Crow lady.

Aw shucks! Life is too short and every known radio minister today has told me and millions of others to stop worrying. God is on His throne and by golly I agree. Why worry about Global Warming (notice how I put that in caps?) There's nothing we can really do beyond police our own area. No one is going to turn out the lights (I hope) to save the world..my goodness, the Lord is in charge of everything.....same thing in Iraq and the streets of Boston and Philadelphia where, it seems many of America's youth are being shot and injured and honestly! why aren't we more outraged about that? I guess because the press isn't pounding it into our lives every waking moment. They. don't. care.

I'm exhausted at the moment but still.....I love my life and my country and those that protect me and mine. Bless all of our first responders and those brave men and women serving and protecting here there and all over the globe.

Life is Gooder than Good

We had quite a scare here. Last Saturday Hubby was working on tax things and when I checked on him in his office he told me he felt kind of "punky". He was sweaty and cold and told me his chest felt heavy....nuf said. 911. Sure enough when the EMT's arrived and took his blood pressure they strapped him in and off he went. Admitted from the ER and held until Tuesday when he had a cardiac cath which thank you God showed his arteries to be clear and that, combined with all the other testing done days prior showed no heart attack, ridiculously high cholesterol and blood pressure needing a goodly slam of medicine. He's home and healthy and I'm about to have a nervous collapse.

Not really. I am so grateful for our life and health that I can't believe I let all the other nonsense circling our lives bother me. It really is. Just. Nonsense.

How fortunate we are and how I have to be shaken into realizing it. Thank you Lord.

To put the top on the cake, today is brilliantly sunny and warm, daffodils are breaking into bloom and the air....the air is intoxicating. Birds are singing like lunatics and I am going out in this day and sit in the sun with a gooooooood book. Gotta love it and I do. Happy Sunday everyone!!!

Truth Be Damned

This is the craziest news cycle ever known to man......except maybe for the time when Nixon was being hunted down like a dog. These crazy left wingers are like hounds in heat and when they smell any kind of weakness they howl and froth at the mouth. Subpoenas and headlines and frenzied acqusations are all the rage. Don't stop now and who cares about truth.....we only want what we want and shut up...otherwise things might go all right wing on us.


Oh Help!!

Boring

Everything is so darned predictable isn't it? I mean, honestly, you knew it was just a matter of when the USA would be blamed for Iran taking those British sailors didn't you? It's still only a matter of time when USA will be changed for GWB because truly.....it is all his fault isn't it? How boring this loud mouthed crowd of "reporters" are. How deadly dull and uncreative. They are all nothing but echoes. Do you think the puppet masters think they can keep the madmen under control if they ever knock this country out? Do you think that Arianna thinks she will still tool around in her jets if the mullahs are in charge? What about our girl Pelosi? Does she really believe that anyone with a smidgen of awareness has any respect for her?

Mindless. Predictable. Children.