Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Perfect Dog Story

Now, this is for my dog friends and my friends who need to smile!  From one of my friends who loves both.

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out..

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

Saw this bumper sticker and thought it appropriate on this wonderful national holiday, Thanksgiving - "Pray for Whirled Peas"  took me a minute and then?  quite funny.  Seriously - have a Happy Thanksgiving and be thankful that you aren't a turkey.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Funny Old Folks

This is funny - the title of the email is "Live long enough to be a REAL concern for your kids.

Love them all!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Panda Babies

Shamelessly stolen from Zooborns -- you must go see the rest.  There are piles and piles of Pandas.  Have a happy Sunday.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Southern Ten Commandments

I lived in Texas for 3 years some time ago and I look back on those years with a great deal of fondness.  I knew before I got there that this is a big wide world.  I knew that there is more to people than their accents, their dress codes and their cultural idiosyncrasies.  All of the fantastically tolerant liberals in our current arena should  take a breath and realize that intelligence is more than sounding intelligent.  Here is an email from a Texan friend of mine.

Ten Commandments

Some people have trouble with all those 'shall's' and 'shall not's' in the Ten Commandments. Southern Country Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, in middle Tennessee they translated the 'King James' into ' Jackson County ' language.....No Joke (posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro , TN ).

(1) Just one God.

(2) Put nothin' before God

(3) Watch yer mouth

(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'

(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa

(6) No killin'

(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal

(8) Don't take what ain't yers

(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'

(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Now that's plain an' simple.

Y'all have a nice day now, ya hear!

And bless your little heart....

Maxine Strikes Again

Absolutely Brilliant Household Tip

Always keep several Get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Gotta Love It

This is so funny!  Thanks to my friend in Mississippi.

Da End is Near

Reverend Boudreaux was the part time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant SwamptownChurch down the way. They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground that read:

 "Da End is Near. Turn Yo Sef ' Roun Now Afore

It Be Too Late!"

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out of his window and yelled, "You stinkin' religious Wackoes!"

From around the curve they heard screeching tires, loud screams, and a huge splash ~ Then silence.

Boudreaux turns to Thibodaux and asks: "Do ya tink maybe da sign should jus say 'bridge out'"?

Ya Tink?

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

A Fable of Sorts

Have you ever seen a baby porcupine? Me either. These came in the mail today and as usual, I share. Who couldn't love this little dickens?

Fable of the porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the
cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided
to group together. This way they covered and protected
themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest
companions even though they gave off heat to each other.
After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one
from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen.

So they had to make a choice:

Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely,
they decided to go back to being together. This way they
learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the
close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Moral of the story:

The best relationship is not the one that brings
together perfect people, but the best is when each individual
learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire
the other person's good qualities.

In Other Words


Monday, November 08, 2010

Important Women's Health Issue

Even More Important News Received via Email

Important Women's Health Issue:

* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

* Do you suffer from shyness?

* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

- Dizziness

- Nausea

- Vomiting

- Incarceration

- Erotic lustfulness

- Loss of motor control

- Loss of clothing

- Loss of money

- Table dancing

- Headache

- Dehydration

- Dry mouth

- And a desire to sing Karaoke


* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas

Friday, November 05, 2010

Girlie Wisdom

From the email archives....I LOVE this!

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but she doesn't really care..

2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today...

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!'.....Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then they marry him.

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Home Again

Back from vacation and let me tell you....this was the best BEST vacation ever!

The Hubster turned 65 and for the first time in over 40 years he celebrated with his kids.  Tears and smiles and hugs and sobs, yes, all of the above.  So there was that.  I was an emotional bystander enjoying the whole thing.  He, and me too since I was with him, was wined and dined and toasted and just loved to bits.  It was so wonderful to see the used to be wife and in-laws enjoying him and him them.  We shed a few tears of regret that we couldn't have connected sooner but honestly?  God knows the right time and circumstance and He surely put this together in the best of ways.

Weather was fabulous, warm and humid and just like summer.  Shorts and tee shirts and sandals, how could a vacation be otherwise?  It was in the 40's and 30's here at home and just lovely to be warm for that brief time before the winter door slams shut.

Following the week with the kids and ex in-laws we went for a drive to visit my used to. be college room mate and her family.  Within 15 minutes we were 18 again and reliving every nonsensical adventure we ever had.  The husbands went along very patiently with our screaming bursts of uncontrollable laughter, her sons just stood back in awe over the fact that their very competent mom could be a very silly school girl shrieking, laughing over what seemed to be nothing and me joining right in.  We laughed, we drank and ate and talked and walked and then started all over again.  Can't wait to see her and her hubs again and this time it won't take 20 years to do it...after all, we don't have 20 years.

My friend from Mississippi who sends the very funny emails has been sending more of the same since we left and I MUST share this one with you.  I have missed this periodic posting and will be jumping all over this blog now that I have returned.  I have a bunch of stuff to fill you in on.

I leave you with a laugh

John Bradford, a 20 yr old college student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. No cars were traveling that night. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stop. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road. So, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to the pub. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk.

Suddenly the door opened and two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other.....

'Look Paddy...there's that freaking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it.'