Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Sunshine and clouds

And now for a mid-week crisis.

Fabulously to this point there is none. I am taking an unexpected two days off from work and i am torn between running through the sprinklers screaming, "I'm Free!!!" and curling up in a fetal position to deal with the anxiety and guilt. What if I didn't do something critical that needed to be done by noon on Wednesday and it can only be done from my desk at the office? What if, what if, what if? What in anyone's name is wrong with me?

Enough of that. Cease. Desist. I could create a crisis from that stuff.

I read blogs everyday, I think I told you, and on Monday read that Rob Smith, aka Acidman, aka Gut Rumbles had passed away. I had emailed him a couple of times following his trip to rehab. He reminded me of my late husband and brother. They both had "issues" with alcohol. When Rob wrote about trouble sleeping I sent him some info that I remembered from when my husband had trouble. I got an email back, Rob thanked me. I was so impressed with that. All the mail he got and comments he had to read and he had the time to answer my silly email about how not sleeping was common. Later, he wrote about some other troubles and I commented again. Again he wrote back. I am really going to miss him. I pray for his family to feel the strength of God's hands holding them as they move through their pain.

As the song says, "The sun will come out tomorrow" we just don't know which tomorrow it might be. It will come out though and the world will be different for each one of us walking on it. Bless you all and I hope you are having a sunny day.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Finally the rain passes on

Noah would have felt at home here. Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day. That was the chant of the week end. My cousin and her fam arrived in the middle of the downpours on Saturday. Her daughter is to be married in September 07 and they were researching places for the ceremony and reception. It was pouring, not just raining, when they arrived. My cousin's son had been married just a month ago and on that day it poured too.

It has been raining on weekends for the past two months. Living in a vacation area it really affects everybody's mood. The weekenders for sure are very gloomy. Those who arrive on a Saturday afternoon for the week or two are usually ok because they can wait, for a while, a short while for the sun. The rain doesn't stop anybody or any event since time is short. We went to the annual Chowder Festival Sunday. Other than watering down the samples it really stopped no one. The crowds might have been thinner but you could have fooled me. It was hard to move with the crush of people and no one seemed to want to crowd under the very small pavillions to escape the rain.

The rain remained all day. It let up from time to time but mainly stayed on the plain and rained. We had company for the weekend (what's new?) and rather than eat out on the patio where there's elbow room we crushed into the kitchen and managed. Then as the company departed we changed (again) into dry clothes and watched TV non-stop. We rarely do that but we indulged.....we watched a series on On Demand called Epitafio. English sub-titles. Really captivating. We watched almost the whole first season. It's a good one. Watch if you can.

I of course fell asleep in the middle. Hubby watched on and when he woke me to go to bed told me that he would make the ultimate sacrifice for me and watch again the episodes I missed. I love him.

So we had a swell, if wet, weekend and now, Monday, the sun is out. Of course it is. Have a glorious Monday and I hope your weekend was weekendical. God Bless.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

A Wonderful Memorial Mass

One of my late brothers had a live in significant. She adored him and took very good care of him. She really did the in sickness and health thing even though they never did the vows. I'm not sure my brother, vows or no vows would have reciprocated but I never had to find that out so moving right along. His girl invited me to a memorial service that her boss orchestrates every year for employees who have lost a loved one or for employees who have passed away. It was on a college campus in the chapel and it was yesterday. It was so moving and such a wonderful service. There were many many names on the list of those for whom the Mass was said. The priest stood aside and the head of the company, a man of 83, got up and read the names. He had something to say about each and every person and in many cases the departed was a relative of an employee, not an employee yet he had a loving and personal anecdote to relate and to ask for God to look after them in ways each would need. What a confluence of emotion. My brother's memory, his grieved mate, all of the mourning attendees and their memories, the admiration I felt for this man of 83 and his ability to touch each of us. No wonder that man is such a success in the world. He's here and enjoying it but he kept reminding us all that every name he read has gone home and so he knows where home is.

The priest spoke a homily about the college motto, it's Light and Hope, in Latin of course. He was also sincere and drew us all in. He is the youth pastor at the college and if I had met him all those years ago and if I were a lad instead of a lass I would have heard my name called and signed up for the seminary. As it was I mulled over the convent but not being Catholic would be a bit of a hurdle and having a husband could prove cumbersome. Oh well. The lost dream thing.

I thought that I would be a puddle by the end but instead I was lifted up and all that grief and boring and old feeling of before. Why that be gone. . .Hallelujah!

I have been praying and the prayer of Jabez has come to mind. I love the Bless me Lord part and I am fervent when I ask the Lord to hold me in his hands and let no harm come to me...I will ask the same for all in my circle. Bless you all.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Poor Me

I have come to the conclusion that I am old and depressed and bored and yes, I know only boring people get bored so therefore I am boring too. Oh poor pitiful me. I have a close acquaintance who has made a career out of being a victim and it has been working for her. I think it's time to do the same. She always has a sympathetic shoulder somewhere and a come to dinner you poor thing why should you be alone and lonely. Gads....I am so sorry for me. I'm broke too. Everyone I run into has $$$ and stuff and glamor and busy things and they're just coming back from the Keys or they're just going off to Acapulco or blah, blah, blah. Here I am. I think about working a second job but I have no energy so I just don't shop.

Do you think those people I run into are real or just making up fantasy tales of the life they would like to have and they watch my spirits fall with each new glorious adventure they have recently had or are planning to.....................


Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Put up or Shut up

I just read about Saddam's trial in Iran and it seems the judge has suspended it for a week and has given the defense one last chance to get their act together. My favorite part is where he warns them to STOP making allegations without substantiation. I wish that he would talk to the press and certain politicians in this country.......I am worn out with all the nonsense in the news and those puffed up faces in front of the cameras and microphones and NO I am not talking about GW or any of his administration. I am talking about the Kerry's and the Kennedys and the McKinney's and the etc etc and so forths....oh yeah the Schumers and the Reids and those others of their ilk who --- oh hell, you know the drill. We used to say in the old days, "Put up or shut up." I wish they would.....put up truth.