Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Another Email

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Possibly Offensive Material to Follow....

From my email today - apologies to all left leaners and Democrats.  As the aplogists have stated, I'm sorry if you are offended.  I was taken out of context or misquoted or .... fill in the blanks with whatever you choose. 

Origin of Left and Right

Have you wondered why it is that Conservatives are called the "right" and Liberals are called the "left." By chance I stumbled upon this verse in the Bible: "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV). Thus sayeth the Lord. Amen
Can't get any simpler than that.

Spelling lesson: The last four letters in American; I can. The last four letters in Republican; I can. The last four letters in Democrats; rats. End of lesson. Test to follow in November, 2012.

Remember, November 2012 is to be set aside as rodent extermination month.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Followers Galore

Before I get started I must comment.  I went to the blogger stuff where it shows comments and page views and I noticed that I have 70 followers.  70?  for real?  Wow....thanks all of you and sorry I am so lame with the postings here.  I will strive to improve and be worthy of 70 followers....I am stunned and staggered. 

I now must post something today since there are 70 possible readers.  The pressure is mounting.  I must find a theme or a joke or a picture.  I know I rely on my emails totally and so to the email I go.

Hope you can read is funny.  Have a good one - all 70 of you and if there are more out there then all you too.  I am speechless.......

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Nuthin but a chuckle

I got nuthin'.  And when that happens, I do what I do best.....copy from my email.  This one made me laugh...hope it does the same for you.  I have to burst out of this mood rather than my jeans.  Later...

A hooded armed robber bursts into the Bank of Italy and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door with the loot, one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off, revealing the robber's face.

The robber shoots the guy dead without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. He sees one of the tellers looking straight at him; the robber walks over and calmly shoots him dead.

Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

"Dida anyone elsa see a my face?" calls the robber.

There follows a tense minute of silence.Then an elderly Italian gentleman, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says:

"I tinka my wife caught a glimpse"