Friday, August 31, 2007

A Grown Up Day

My husband and I have been in the car since 9AM this morning and have driven and stopped and driven some more. It all began when he said that he had to take the car in for servicing and it would take a couple of hours. I am never here with him, still commuting for three days away and 4 days here and he works 2 of the four days and ya da yada and so forth. Anyway I said I would go with him and after the service stop he had service calls to make and I would drive along with him keeping him company and while he went to the client and did what he does I would sit in the car waiting and reading a book or whatever. Thus went our day. We only had one violent outburst with screaming and pouting and I am so proud of myself, no tears. When done with that we went out to eat and shared a bowl of soup along with red curry and shrimp. We are so grown up. Now we are home and the Red Sox are on and I must hurry and fall asleep in my recliner. Day is done.

Better Now

Okay. I'm over my break down. I have no time to post anything more so I will return. Just wanted to clear the postings with the big news that I am clear and done with all the judgemental kinds of things I was thinking yesterday . . maybe. Later

Thursday, August 30, 2007

signs of a sociopath

Glib and superficially charming, manipulative and cunning - or is it conning? - grandiose sense of self, pathological liar, lack of remorse, shame or guilt, shallow emotions, parasitic lifestyle, enormous sense of entitlement. Hmmm.....sounds like someone I know.

Polls and Bleachers

A new and brief revelation which is kind of in keeping with the previous Done With That thinking. My family is operating like the Clintons or the Dems…..they take a poll, constructed along the story line to fit their reality and the results, in their favor of course, are all they need to confirm their reality. There is no right or wrong unless you have the votes. Yikes. What planet have I landed on? I always called it the get as many people on the bench with you as will fit and the other guy tries to do the same.....the winner has the most people

So Done with That

I must find quiet time to be with the Lord. I am experiencing a crisis in behaviour. I have always been the one in the family to bend and bow and scrape and even if it is through clenched teeth I always inquire for your health and happiness. Well I'm so done with that. I am sick to death of people who obsess over their hurt feelings. When it is not outwardly obvious that they have been snubbed or overlooked or whatever they think makes their little soap opera click for them, they make something up and tell the world. They get those sympathetic murmurings and their hands get held and they have the spotlight forever. They get people angry with the offenders and spend their time fueling the fires. I AM DONE WITH BEING THE GOAT!!!!!! Now I have to find time to work on being done in a strong and silent way. The Lord loves us all, I have to do that too. Pray for me while I pray for them and me too.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Roses and Beauty Surround me

A glorious day for sure. The sun is out and the air is moving. It is very warm but not as humid as it's been. Here in my world every street is line with trees and yards are filled with blooms of every variety. There is a neighborhood nearby that has nothing but landscapers crawling over the yards fluffing up the shrubbery and edging the lawn and dying the roses red. I never see anyone who might actually live in those gorgeous places but their minions are scampering everywhere. I am so blessed to be able to walk through the most beautiful surroundings. I am so mellow when I return, sweaty but mellow. Later. I must shower and clean up my act.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Finally W Speaks Up

W has finally stood up and spoken words I have wanted to hear for years and years and years. He has publicly spoken words no Dem wanted to hear. Vietnam was indeed a failure, it was a failure of will on the part of the Congress of the USA and turning our backs on the people who were relying on us resulted in a bloodbath that shames us to this day. No one wants to hear that version of the story

In Real Clear Politics today William Kristol's column says it all. Happy Sunday.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Tag Team Destroyers

I don't understand how the Clintons, after the 8 years during which they accomplished none of the things which existed and they now say they will snap their fingers and cure the world, how can they walk with their heads high as if the past was not the past and yes, I know, the past is the past but it exists and there was damage done and there has been no repentance and there is complete denial of the facts and off they go to glory and perks and luxurious living more that they have now which is more than most have. Whew. That exhausted me. But seriously! What's with this?

Also notice how I say they? Oh Yes! Make no Mistake. We get him too and he, in fact, regardless of all the feministas out there, he is pulling her strings. Oh Yes! She, in the past, has made such huge bloopers in such public ways that she had to do herself over and who do you think is slick enough to tell her how and what and when. How to undo the term limits stuff. Leave it to slick willy to figure that out and with his PT Barnum thought patterns, there is more than one sucker born every minute. That man has played everyone for a sucker all his life and she is the perfect partner. Like serial killers, tag team destroyers.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Wait on the Lord. I awoke this morning to that message. My radio ministry is alive and well at my bedside. The Lord's time is not my time. How better to get to know Him? Wait, wait, wait and wait with patience and open ears, eyes and heart. I try. I don't shake my fist as much as I used to. Oh, now and then I clench my teeth and roll my eyes as I say "I'm wai-ting!" But not so much as I did years ago, During the time of strife following my parents and sibs' deaths I prayed for relief. I begged to be pushed under His wings and gathered to Him like the hen does for her chicks and He did that for me. I couldn't have slept otherwise. I would be spiraling into a major anxiety attack and Poof! peace would swarm over me and I would drift away secure in His love. What a miracle and what a blessing. I have let the gratitude for that time slip away and have neglected to speak words of appreciation to the Lord for His love and patience with me during that time. Thank you Lord for always holding me close and sheltering me from the trials I am too weak to bear. You always are with me and moving me through the circumstances you have brought me to. Even when I have brought myself to those circumstances due to my pride and stubbornness, You have still been there. Help me to wait for You and Your answer. Help me to be patient and still. Bless me Lord as You always have and will. I pray in Jesus' name Amen.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A Tale of Two Gemmas

I am back at work and away from family. I am finding it harder and harder to do this. I feel like a split personality. In one life I am married and live by the ocean with my husband and dog. I keep house, make soups and salads, have wine before dinner, walk every morning, water the tomatoes, clip the herbs, do the laundry, socialize with friends and so forth. In my other life I am a woman alone. I live in that big old house that always looks all shut up. I go to the office and hear about everyone's lives. I see pictures of their children and sports events and birthdays. I walk at lunch hour and when I go to the mailbox. I make healthy lunches from what I bring to work. I eat salads and home made soups. I bring fruit to work and share it with the others. I don't watch the normal TV shows and I read the Bible of all things. I am kind of a lonely old maiden aunt. When I ever can give up the lonely maiden aunt part of me where will it go I wonder.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


I'm at work and now I now how I feel about the end of the vacation. I wish it hadn't ended. I'm leaving work early however because I forgot to take my blood pressure pills and I think my head is going to explode. I must go home and pill out. Later

A Thought

I might have already written this but here goes. I have uncovered a brilliant idea and this may be the second time I have done so. Just thinking. You know that guide book, I think it's Zagat's Guide to everything travel wise. Restaurants and hotels are reviewed, that one? Well here goes. All of those young celebrities or celebrity wannabe's will be signing up for this one. It will be like a Zagat guide to rehab locations. Paris or Brittany or Lindsay have already been to most. All they have to do is collaborate and start the book. The five make that three make that three celebs of to recovery spas. Or whatever.....

Monday, August 20, 2007


One more thing....these anti war groups are entitled to do what they do but why they are upset with us this time around is beyond me. The defend yourself urge should be squashed according to them. Why don't they protest the aggressive behavior of the Bomb squad urchins in the Arab street. Why, when a country - Israel for example - defending itself - are they denigrated? Why are the bullies in school coddled and those who stand up and defend themselves sent for counseling and suspended? What is wrong with this picture? Jesus said meek not weak for goodness' sake. I'm done for the moment. I'll give peace a chance as long as I can keep my defensive weapons just in case those people are lying to me. Remember the Germans telling the Jews that the train was taking them to a good place..a work camp...just for a while. Take the bar of soap and go to the showers. Go quietly. You'll be fine. I fear the peace mongers are of a similar mind set. They think they'll be the last men standing and will run the show.

Last Day of Vaca

Last vacation day and I'm not sure how I feel about all the previous days of no work. It felt nice although lazy. Retirement looms ahead and dangles all the possibilities of the universe but the kick is that I have to seize the moment and do those possibilities. Will I have the energy and desire to move? I'm not sure. I do know that spending more than four days at a time in one place makes it possible to connect with the community and make commitments to things like church programs, bible study, fitness classes and such. I went to a Tai Chi class yesterday and when it broke one of the women said "See you Thursday". Thursday too? I asked and she said the class was two sessions per week, Thursday at 6:30 pm and Sunday morning. I won't make the Thursday session, I said, because I will be working and by the time I get down Thursdays it is 7:30 or later. That's no excuse she said, see you Thursday. Sigh. I will see her on Sunday. The pain is bound to be a distant memory by then.

On with the day - I have just finished my morning walk and the pain? she's not so bad. At least the late snack of last night has been partially erased by the calories just burned and the urge to have a breakfast sandwich and homefries was beaten to a pulp and the cereal and banana won.


Friday, August 17, 2007

Life and Lamb Chops are equally Good

Still have nothing but it's early and cooler air is coming they say. This week has been so long overdue. I am merely here and doing nothing but normal day to day things. I walk every morning and do errands of sorts for the rest of the day. My biggest chore is to figure out what to defrost for dinner. Grilling is for men. Yes we say that in the house of us. He loves to and he does it. I am a chopper and a side dish lady. Last night? Lamb chops of the loin variety, grilled to perfection. I was on the case of curried brown rice served with zucchini, mushrooms onion and green peppers. Man, that was some good dinner. It was followed with strawberry Edy's low cal frozen yogurt smothered with fresh sliced strawberries. That was followed with a push back in the recliner and I believe I heard me some snoring.

Life is Good. Bless you all. I have some thoughts on life which will be entered later. Families and in-laws and relationships of all sorts will be discussed. Later - - -

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Vacation = Vacant Brain

I am taking vacation time this week. I have not really done that for a while...oh, I take the long weekend but the middle of the week time has been work time always. This week? Not so. That reminds me of a fellow I used to work with a long time ago. His last name was Smart and everyone called him Notso. We were funny and clever eh?

I have been mindless and addled with free time and I will have to return when my wits are whole and my energy level is higher than slug. The weather is calling me outside and I always do as I am told. August on the Cape is heaven on earth.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

A Pun and a Link

Just read this, "A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother". Don't you love it?

There's another thing I read but it's not a pun. A blog I read, among the several hundred, is Sigmund, Carl and Alfred. Yes, they are psychiatrists and they are great. Let me provide a link now and you can go forth and peruse. Now let's see if I know how to do this. -- I think I did it and we'll see. Anyhow, on that blog is a statement. "We have spoken to your mother. We know everything." Again. Love it. Hope that link works and you enjoy the psychs. Later

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Globing Cooling of Mars

I was thinking on the way in to work this morning that Global Warming is an amazing phenomenon. Everyone has an opinion. Few people are neutral, although I am sure there are many who are. The neutral folk are the quiet folk. I recently read that it is more damaging to the planet to walk to your destination than it is to drive and the reasons were the energy expended created a greater need for food and the food production effort caused more carbon dioxide emissions than the operation of the automobile. The author's conclusion was that it makes more sense for the planet if we all just sit still, don't eat and try very hard not to exhale. Then it struck me. I had an AHA moment, one of those EUREKA things like the guy in the bath tub or was it Newton under the apple tree, whatever, I realized that Mars probably once was inhabited but Global Warmers developed and imposed their theories and as a result the planet was rescued from the devastation that life forces cause and it sits today cool and calm and a monument to what Al Gore can do for us as well. Why are we not sending that man every cent we can?

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

H-H-H Hazy Hot Humid

Strange weather, hot, humid, hazy, major thunderboomers and lightening followed by downpour then instead of the usual cool air....more hot, humid hazy and so on and so on. Dampness and heat pervade. The house feels like everything is made out of those blotters that banks used to give out. You know the kind, dip them in water and they turn into a sponge. Well we are now sponges. Nothing feels right and oooooh everything has that smell. The wet dog smell is everywhere even where there are no dogs.

Back to the city with me today and the heat is hotter, the humidity is higher and the haze?..she is hazier. People with curly hair have it curled like corkscrews and those of us trying to poof up the straight as stick stuff? Fuhgedaboudit.

Have a lovely day wherever you are and stay cool!

Saturday, August 04, 2007


I watched a show called Reservations (I think) with a chef/connoisseur named Anthony Bourdain (?sp) I think. He travels all over the world sampling native cuisine and informing us of various customs, historical landmarks events etc. This show took place in Korea and he had as a guide a very charming young Korean girl. I came in as he was taken to her family's New Year's Eve celebration which involved showing great respect to the elder family members. The grandfather sat in a room, the young guide was adorned in a ceremonial garment which was very lovely. She then entered the room and kneeled very low in front of her grandfather and as she sat up she wished him long life and many blessings in the coming year.

The family then sat down to a feast of, naturally, Korean specialities. Oh the table was full and overflowing with food and the general mood was festive. The voice over said something like, after resisting traveling to this country Anthony found a culture rich with family values and his guide, through her deep love of family and pride in her country brought him out of his snarkiness to a point where he was awash with appreciation for the land and the people.

This same host, by the way, has been known to snark at the USA, from which he hails. He seems in awe of the love people have for their country and its culture as long as it's a foreign country. He is unhappy about the latest wave of resistance to ILLEGAL immigration to his country. I guess he doesn't see that Americans are basically law and order types. I know it's hard to grasp that when you see the antics of our politicians, especially the stellar examples in Congress this week. Why is it that waving a flag is only OK if it's not an American flag. Why do the elitist press and snarky upper privileged group of semi celebs feel that we Americans have no culture, have no customs worth admiring and whatever we have historically should be sneered at or buried. I don't get it.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Don't Hurry Summer

Start of the month and I can't believe it's August. Used to be August was the start of the count down. School starts when? How many more days? The closer we got to the end of the month the more we squished into the days of freedom. You see, we were away at Cape Cod for the whole entire summer. Over the bridge and off to the Cape and nothing to do allllllll summer long except swim and swim and collect shells and swim and row the boat and swim. No shoes and basically no clothes except for bathing suits allllllll summer long and boy howdy they were long summers. Cousins and aunts and uncles and beach and even when it rained you went to the beach. Walk in the rain and puddles and of course swim..why not? The rain was wet wasn't it? The ocean salt would be washed away by the rain on the walk home.

By Labor Day the place would empty out and with all the packing and cleaning and fewer and fewer kids to play with it was kind of ok to head back home for school and shoes and winter. Still, August is a don't rush the days kind of month because I want summer to linger just a while longer. I'm still at the Cape - weekends anyhow -- oh all right! Long Weekends. YAY! I'm old and I can take those long weekends. I'm so old I should be retired but that's another story altogether. Later. I'm still at the Cape and have those same "oh no shoes" kind of feelings. Today I have to work and it's a perfect beach - humid - some kind of bug buzzing in the background. Hurry! Get to the beach! Jump in the ocean....float. Floating is a wonderful thing. Thank you Lord for floating and memories and weekends.