Friday, November 27, 2009

The Day After

Well, the refrigerator is filled with leftovers and I am here waiting for the downpour to abate so that I can walk the dog without drowning. She may have to cross her legs for a while. It appears that we will have rain all morning and it is pounding down driving rain. It's very hard to hold her and the umbrella and the pooper scooper.

I learned this about the Thanksgiving feast. It takes as much work to cook and clean up for three as it did in past years for twelve. The big difference is the kitchen is not at all crowded and the table did not get moved into the living room with a card table extension.

My nephew is with us. He is, as he says, "high functioning" but cannot live alone. He is in a house with two other men and a wonderful staff that feels like family. I have him with me for every holiday and some weekends in between. I asked hime what his favorite part of Thanksgiving was expecting him to say turkey or pumpkin pie which I know are his favorite things on the table. He said, "Being with family." I cried.

I am so thankful for him and my husband and all the others in my extended family. Everyone this year on Thanksgiving Day were healthy and safe. I only wish we could have all been together but some years that's the way it is.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Christmas Cookies

Just in time for the Holidays....a cookie recipe spotted at the Anchoress and copied from some place I googled. It made me chuckle first thing this morning and reminded me that we don't chuckle enough.

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies Notes

1 cup water
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Serves / Yields

Preparation Instructions
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK; try another cup ...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


Sunday, November 22, 2009

A Revelation

My Dad loved Fred Allen. For anyone who might not know, and there are more and more of you every minute, he was a radio star. Imagine that! There were people waaaaay back then who became famous from being on the radio and they were not talk show hosts. Fred Allen was a comic and when my Dad listened to him I was a very tiny tot. Fred Allen wound up on TV and he was old and tired looking and I remember my Dad laughing and I just didn't get it. Now, I have this obsession with looking up quotes and I came across these and they are all Fred Allen originals:

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

And that is just the seems that comedy, like oysters, is an acquired taste.


Well here is is, Sunday. Another week begins. One of my goals is to establish myself with a church and become a regular Sunday church goer. I know that sounds so superficial but it is a host of things to me.

Because of the kind of gypsy wandering I have done in the past I have hesitated to join anything. I could never count on my schedule allowing a constant time and place to plan anything. When young we traveled to Florida for the month of December which pulled us out of all the school pageants and church events. Then, in the summer we packed up to Cape Cod the day after school let out and returned the day after Labor Day. We missed all the school's out things that kids do at home but loved our summers away. We met lots of kids a week or two at a time since most of the population were "renters". That brought a lot of pen palling into my life if a bond was made during that week or two.

College was great for forming friendships and since most of my friends were from out of state we rarely connected during breaks or summers. That didn't seem odd to me due to my past experience. I kept in touch as always but now the phone played a bigger role.

At the work phase of my life I had a job that involved travel. Sometimes out of state always in different offices. My relationships were wide spread. I was a trainer and the people I connected with were in my charge for a few weeks at the most and then I moved on. No roots.

I tried to go to grad school during this time since the company would pay but when during the year I would be all over the Northeast or further I couldn't fit a regular schedule of two or three nights a week at a specific location into my life. Tried twice and had to withdraw each time due to work duties.

The time of my life prior to the Florida transition was lovely. All winter we were in one place and Sunday meant Sunday School followed by Sunday dinner and family. I remember the Christmas Fair in the church and the bake sales and the childrens' choir. It was a good solid feeling. I want that again and now, with retirement and finally free of the snarl of the family business and real estate I am close to being in one place for a stretch of time. So begins my search for the church.

I have a little more unsnarling to do. Our house of many years must be sold and today we have a couple of volunteers with strong backs and a trailer. We will head on up and move some of the huge amount out of that house and into storage. Today will not be a search for church day but hopefully most Sundays from now on will be.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Why do I not go to the dentist more frequently? He is a wonderful man and took care of me with great kindness and never a blink of judgement over my very poor attendance in his office. I did lose that tooth but I have a partial bridge and a tooth will be added to it. Just time and money at this point. The pain and angst are over. Well almost over. The anxiety is gone and the pain will recede. Whew. I am very glad today is gone.

Kiss Today Good-Bye

That stress test is over and now the stress is waiting for the results. I was told that I would hear right away if there is a major concern and here it is beyond the right away border and no word so the concern is down graded to less than major. I am still anxious though.

On top of that anxiety is my mortal fear of the dentist. Because of that fear, I ignored a filling loss for some time since there was no pain. When the tooth cracked I knew I had to get moving but coasted a bit more until I woke up with a swollen face. Not terribly swollen, at least with my fat face it was hard to see but I could feel it so the husband called for me, yes, I am that chicken. I got a round of antibiotics and today I am off to the dentist and I have to summon all of the courage I can to get through this.

I will get through this, I always do. When am I going to be rid of this nasty sinking stomach and jaw clenching freaked out dread? If my mother were here I would be letting her know it's all because of those early years at Dr. Holmes office. No Novocaine, no gas, no high speed drill, just him going at it and telling you to stop being such a baby. He had crooked teeth by the way. But, as my mother would say, he was in walking distance and having no car, that was the first priority for any medical issue. Can't say she didn't take care of us. We were dragged kicking and screaming twice a year to that torturer. It was never just one appointment either. There were always cavities and cavities and then if no cavities the fillings put in when ever had to be replaced.

OK. Enough! That is not the case with this dentist I am seeing today. He is gentle and kind and always uses Novocaine and that still doesn't matter. I am freaking panicky.

In times like these, I can't wait for tomorrow since this will all be over with then.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Stressed Out

I am out of thoughts and words and energy. Thank goodness that today is a picture perfect fall day. The sun is coming out, there are still a few, colorful leaves on the trees but most are bare. The walk to the beach with the pooch is delightful. She loves to walk through the piles of oak leaves the wind has arranged and the sound is such a childhood memory. My Dad would rake the leaves into piles and we would run and jump in them. I don't recall that he ever became angry, maybe he was raking the piles so that we could have that fun. Nice thought. I'll keep it.

Tomorrow I have to go for a nuclear stress test. Sounds ominous doesn't it? Well, it is just a checkup since I had a bypass, a triple, some years ago. I haven't had any symptoms but it has been a while and the new cardiologist I'm seeing wants to check things out a bit. I have to admit I am nervous. I keep going back to the last round of tests that led to the surgery and it gets me very anxious. Not a good thing probably. To have this stress in advance of the stress test. On top of the stress I can have no caffeine products so the morning coffee is not in my radar. I am maybe more stressed due to that.

On top of that, the Patriots blew it. Sad Sunday!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

I Am Healed

Hallelujah Hannah! Don't tell me this blog your emotions doesn't work. Shortly after that last upheaval of poor me-itis I filed all the business papers and moved the cartons out of the living room so now, I have, a living room. I pulled all the knick knacks off of the window ledges, removed the curtains, washed them and the windows and the do dads and the walls and the floors and the corners and the baseboards and the lamp over the dining table got lemon oiled and shined up. I am a new woman. I have a broken back. I am taking motrin in abundance and I reek of ben gay but.....I have conquered my lethargy. Thank You Blog!!!

A True Confession

Where have I been? Can't believe that the last time I wrote anything was back in October. Well let me see. I have been doing the usual house keeping things like laundry, shopping for food, going to the library, searching the internet for lose weight in a hurry miracle plans, talking on the phone, driving the hubster to physical therapy, walking the moose of a dog, and reading a bit. Not much heavy lifting there. Notice the absence of vacuuming, dusting and sorting out the cartons of things that surround me daily.

I tell myself that I am recharging my very drained batteries. I am coming off ten years or so of total screeching stress. Running a family business following the deaths of parents within six months of each other, 2 years later the death of my oldest brother and 2 years later the loss of my remaining older brother. Then the economic downturn made the business like a roller coaster ride at 6 Flags along with a sister-in-law suing me for any possible thing she could make up and boy did she make up a lot of stuff. Three years or so later, the suit was put aside, the business sold and now I wait for the relaxing to occur. I pine for the day when the phone rings and I don't get a jolt. I want to go to the mailbox without dread fearing a letter from some new attorney or the government.

I know I have that Post Traumatic Stress thing. I am hunkering down and awaiting it's exit. Hunkering means no meaningful accomplishments, just walk in place and hope that the clutter is somehow viewed as quaint and charming. The true confession is that the clutter is not adding to the relaxed atmosphere I am longing for and my inclination is to walk away from it rather than deal. I want to rent a charming condo somewhere for the winter and gaze at totally empty rooms. Like that will ever happen.