Last night I went with a friend to an AA meeting. It's been a long time since I have done that and what mixed feelings I had to deal with. On the one hand I felt such relief that my immediate connections are not in need of that support. My late husband introduced me to the world of AA and Alanon. I credit those groups with holding my head above water for the time I needed it. On the other hand I felt my friend's pain since she was dealing with her husband's serious problem with alcohol and was going under.
One of her Alanon connections suggested that she attend this meeting and perhaps it would give her some hope. The meeting was a Big Book meeting and if you are not sure of what that is, in brief, it is going through the 12 steps in accordance with the directions and guidance of the Big Blue Book for AA. The step they were discussing was 5. That's where you basically read all of the step four writings concerning your moral inventory to your sponsor. What courage these people displayed. What a glorious tool those 12 steps are. What a shame we don't all use them to clear away the clutter and crap we surround ourselves with and face the world without our make-up and costumes and phony acts. We all do that and you know we do. Some do it more than others but none of us are without our props.
I really think that with all of our issues if we just give it to God as AA tells us to, if we build that solid foundation to make that giving away possible we would be so much better. I speak for me here since that's all I can do. I wish I had the courage of those people I sat with last night. All ages and genders, all broken by life and addictions, all fighting hard to get past the pain and do the work. God Bless them all and thank you Lord for sending me there last night. My sorry self needed that.