Here's a thought. Yesterday I was talking with a friend and the conversation turned to some gossipy item about a couple in her neighborhood. I don't know them but through previous conversation I know of them. She commented that the woman had him whipped and jumping through hoops and it's such a damned shame that she blah blah blah. I put my two cents worth in by thanking her for a visit from my mother. We do that to each other as she or I remind each other of our mothers. Now mind you, I didn't know hers and she didn't know mine but from all the discussions, we are convinced that we had the same mother with different bodies.
The discussion of that couple reminded me so much of my mother and I have been thinking of that ever since. My mother favored my brothers and just about every other young man on the face of the earth. She thought they all deserved spoiling and were so fun and entertaining and they lit up the room when they entered. I, as the daughter and sister should feel honored to run and fetch for the brothers and father and uncles and of course she didn't treat them better than she treated me. She was fair and balanced and get over your pouty spoiled self.!!
At the same time, I realized that in discussion of any couple, the female in the combo was a tryrannical witch who had the man bamboozled into doing whatever she wanted whether he wanted to or not and if he balked, his life would be a living HELL!!! Eventually, as I grew much much older and braver and had my own house, I would open the discussion up further by questioning why she thought that the male half of whatever the combination we were discussing was such a moron. Doesn't he have a mouth or a brain or two feet that could walk out the door?? I would plant my flag in that hill and say that the two of them, whoever they were, must get what they wanted and needed from each other or else why stay together?
So mulling over the puzzle that is mother so that I can get closer to the puzzle that is me, I thought that my mother's feelings about men were so complex and contradictory. On the one hand she deferred to them, on the other hand she questioned their mental abilities and independence of mind. I think that if you think men are not strong or smart then that submission thing is done with a really resentful and bad attitude.