Sunday, September 28, 2008

I am Going Down for the Count

I am so ticked off. Just reading a blog written by a lady who had quite a career in show biz. She wrote about singing in cabarets and dives and old nightclubs and how she had to stop and how difficult that decision was and how thanks to that decision she saved herself from herself since there was nothing to do but drink on the road and also as a result of that decision and therapy she wound up in a FABulous career on Broadway and TV and ya da ya da yada.

I read all the comments from readers praising her for her courage and audacity and the strength she had to follow her inner voice. . . . Maybe so.

Many of her postings are about the swell parties she throws for her circle of friends, all of whom are in the business. They are well known, to a certain extent, if older and more or less retired. The surroundings the blogger lives in are quite elegant and she has help, at least she talks about someone who cooks and serves the tasty little luncheons. She has truly gorgeous china and her garden is out of this world. I wondered how she could have made such a lasting amount of money behind the scenes in show biz ...she certainly couldn't have in the dingy little clubs she talked about. I have been trying to Google the name and see how big her career truly was. To support her lifestyle she must really have some deep residuals or whatever they call those payments coming along on a fairly regular basis and if I look at my pitiful 401K drop much more after all those years of working and saving and ..... yeah-- you get it... How is it that there is no angst....there must be so much in whatever fund there is that all these twists and turns of the market mean nothing. Wish it were so here!

I digress. Closest I came to her name was a man (turns out to be her father I think) who donated a collection of art worth over 50 million a lot of years back. She must have come from a wealthy background and perhaps had some cushion of funds to help her make her courageous decisions.

I am not, although it sounds so, taking away from the angst she must have felt as she dropped her dream and turned to something else but what I am saying is that it appears that part of her ability to be courageous was assisted by the fact that she perhaps didn't need to worry about living expenses. There are people with dreams who have to pump gas or waitress or do what ever they can latch onto to put a roof over their heads and eat while the dream is pursued. Their dream is being pursued at half speed or less because they have to pursue some way to support themselves. The manner in which they live is less than luxurious because they can only devote half speed to that part of their lives where they can earn a living if they want to spend half on the dream. This blogging thing sometimes is just a great way to feed your ego isn't it? I have to stay away from some of these places where everyone is just a cheering squad for people who have enough -- do re mi -- to buy a cheerleader or two but blogger makes it possible for you to have one or several for -- Oh Gemma! Knock it off! I will but there is more.

That brings me to this liberal gang out there who are so willing to spend your money and mine to create the Utopia they are sure we need to live in. I picture them sitting in their lush surroundings watching us scurry around trying to earn ever more money to make up for what they took away in taxes. We are in their ant farm. How quaint we are. How interesting. How courageous they, the elite, are to make those hard decisions about our lives. You know, they would love to fund unlimited access to experimental health procedures, like chemo therapy but honestly! What good will it do for those ants? Their quality of life is so destroyed by their illness, their age and their odd behavior, the way they live and the things they surround themselves with. Better to limit the access to these processes to those who can appreciate them, the young, the strong, the people who think as we do.

Gads....I need a BIG glass of wine and I really need to tune in to some totally neutral place. Maybe the C.S. Lewis fan club. I will go there and read from their selections of the day. Lord Help Me!

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