Good Morning

You might as well start the day as I did, don't blame me - blame my email:

I caught a stray parrot on my porch this morning.

All he says is, "Good morning, you old fart."

...Is it yours ??

Another Great Email

From today's email arrivals:

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Cornish Guardian.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.. Call 01272-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Truro RSPCA

Ain't this the truth?

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meetat a nice restaurant for dinner.  I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset atthe fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.


Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.  He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you,too.'


When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.  He continued to seem distant and absent.


Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.  But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.  He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that histhoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.

Life in All it's Glory

Should have been here earlier but, life, you know, it just gets in the way.  We had a wedding in the family.  A favorite neice (they're all favorites by the way) married a (I almost sounded like a grandmother for a minute since I was about to type - a darling boy) really nice guy.  My husband's daughter arrived for the wedding and stayed for too short a time after that.  Amazing how much you can miss someone.  We wanted to pack as much as possible into her visit so the week after the wedding was a whirl of day trips and sight seeing and such.  She had to leave before Father's Day and left me with the job of making sure Dad got his card first thing.  I put it on the toilet seat since that is the first place he goes to when he gets up.  This is only the second Father's Day they have had together and the card made him cry -- me too when I was with her and she picked it out. 

Now we have a future visit from his son to plan, that will be in August.  I have another favorite neice who is not related to the other neices except through my marriage.  She is my oldest brother's girl and is about 10 years older than the oldest on my husband's side.  She really wasn't part of my in-law's life since she was married and involved with her own in-laws and also lives some distance away.  She is beginning to feel left out and I am not sure how to handle it.  No one is deliberately omitting her but they don't know her.  How do we make all the years gone by different?  Don't think it can be done.  I don't really know her in-laws either and they have many family things that I hear about but am not included in (thankfully).  I try to talk about those things so she will recognize that we are connected but have closer inner circles that surround us.  Sigh.

Life - see what I mean?  There it is again and honestly, it is grand.  Here's a picture of the centerpieces from the wedding.  I took one home and it is as lovely as when we first saw it.

1919 Advertisement

If you were around in 1919 and came upon the following poster…...

I mean seriously, wouldn’t you just keep drinking?

The Green Thing

I was at the grocery store and the woman in front of me had all of her reusable bags.  Maybe I was being overly sensitive but I detected an aura of self righteousness oozing off of her and a look from the youngster at the register that I took as an attempt to invoke guilt since I had no such bags.  Imagine my delight when I received this in my email later in the day. 

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, We didn't have the green thing back in my day.  The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. The former generation did not care enough to save our environment."


She was right, that generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, they returned their milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.


But they didn't have the green thing back in that customer's day.


In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.


But she was right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.



Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts, wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers, sisters, cousins or their mom's friends, not always brand-new clothing.



But that old lady is right, they didn't have the green thing back in her day.



Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house – not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn’t have electric machines to do everything for you.



When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.



Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.


But she's right, they didn't have the green thing back then..
They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty instead of using a cup or aplastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled their writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.


But they didn't have the green thing back then.



Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.



But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful the old folks were just because they didn't have the green thing back then?

Link to a Laugh

Hope everyone had a joyous Mothers Day.  We went out with a couple as we do every Mothers Day for a while now.  None of us have mothers nor are we mothers so we gather to honor our mothers and mothers everywhere.  We call our outing, now don't take offense or be horror struck, the Dead Mothers Day Brunch.  Every year since the last of our mothers passed away we have gathered.  We toast each of our moms and have a fabulous meal, usually at a new place each year.  We alternate the power to choose.  Last year it was our turn and this year the other couple's. 

Following the meal we depart for our respective abodes and fall on our respective couches and call it a day.  This year I ventured onto the computer before my full bellied exhaustion struck and found this.  Funniest ever and have to share.  Hope you had a good day yesterday and hope you get a good laugh from this...later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw&feature=youtu.be

The Long Way Back

You may or may not know that since November we have been living through a BIG renovation and I mean living through since we lived in the house as it was torn apart and put back together again.  Before the construction we had to pack up everything in the sitting room, kitchen and bathroom upstairs and one of the bedrooms since those were the rooms being torn up and put back together again in a bigger and better way.  Well, it's over and now, since the beginning of April we have been unpacking everything that we packed and now we are wondering where it will all go.  Sigh.

While this has been going on I have of course been indulging in myself because, why not?  My indulgences amount to going out to eat and eating at home and drinking some fine wine and some not so fine wine and eating while having a glass of wine.  Now all of this must cease and desist.  It's approaching warm weather time and you know what that means.  No coats.  Shorts.  Sleeveless things.  OMG.  How can this be?  I am on the return trip to sensibility and it is a very rocky road.

Can that really be true?

And I think that she is correct in that salad thing.

Yes.  It is going to be a rocky road.  Did someone mention ice cream?

Daffodil Days Again!

It was Daffodil Weekend folks....off to Nantucket and the annual viewing of the antique car parade:

Check out the decorated dogs:

And in general having  a swell day enjoying a spectacular island.  Love the Ferry too!  Next year.  Same time.  Same place!

Gotta Love Maxine

I, MAXINE , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine or a Bloody Mary
chocolate
Margarita
chocolate
Martini
Cold Beer
chocolate
Chicken fried steak
cream gravy
chocolate
Mexican food
chocolate
French fries
chocolate
Pizza
cup of tea
chocolate
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate

It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

What a Wonderful Holy Day

Happy Easter -

Happy Patriot's Day

Ralph Waldo Emerson

By the rude bridge that arched the flood.

Their flag to April's breeze unfurled,

Here once the embattled farmers stood

And fired the shot heard round the world.

 

Thank God for such brave men and the events that occurred all those years ago without which we would not exist as the land of the free and the brave.  Happy Patriot's Day everyone. 

The Sun is Out

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Thought for the Day

Thought for the day:

And that's all I've got.

Happy Birthday Buddy

Today would be my oldest brother's birthday.  He would have been 75 today.  He passed away when he was 66.  That just jolted me.  I can't believe he's been gone 9 years.  It will be 9 years in September.  He was the epitome of that, when he was good he was very, very good and when he was bad he was horrid.  But I loved him and I know he loved me, his little sister. 

Happy Birthday Big Boybee.  Love you and miss you even though you were sooo much trouble sometimes. 

That's why God made him so cute. 

Identity Theft - It's Everywhere

The following cases of Identity Theft were brought to my attention via email and I thought I should pass them along:

Now this fellow is just a silly goose isn't he?

If he didn't have that startled look, Stanley might have gotten away with it.

Never could trust a wolf!

Ever since the lodge changed their entrance requirements , things have never been the same.

Missing the Brothers

Just missing my brothers like crazy today.  Here we were oh, so many years ago.  I had been married to my first husband for less than a year and my oldest brother was only 40.  He had his first major heart attack shortly after this picture was taken.  He blamed it on my forcing him to dance the Mexican Hat Dance with me.  We had such a good time at that party.  Weren't we cute?  My oldest brother is the cool dude with the turtle neck and my older brother is the cool dude with the tie.  Loved them loved them loved them.  Still do but they're gone and I miss them like crazy.

Ain't This the Truth?

Walk With Me by theWater, worth the read:

A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLDER

Shit... I forgot the words....



Stress test

Yesterday had Sunday dinner cooked in our new stove and served in our kitchen.  We sat at a table, placemats and real plates, lit candles (the lights aren't wired yet), classical music softly playing in the background, our delightful young niece completed the picture.  It was so wonderful to eat at a table rather than off of my lap in front of the TV.  Yes, the construction is winding down and we are unpacking the garage.  Now to find where everything should be stored.

Here's a stress test for all of you out there.  It arrived via email:

Dealing with Stress



I am not exactly sure how it works, but this is amazingly accurate:


The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital.


Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.


Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.

No Need to Reply, I'll be on vacation!!!

A Chuckle a Day

A quick update on the  chaos construction going on here.  The sinks and countertops are in the kitchen and faucets as well.  Yes, Houston, we have water.  The refrigerator has left the living room and is now in the kitchen, of all places.  The stove?  She is in place and fitted with gas.  The top burners are ablaze.  The oven has to be "cured", didn't know it was unwell, and the hood has to be working before that can happen.  Don't know when the hood will be working.  We're making progress folks.

And now for some Canadian billboards sent to me via email.  Do you think these are real?  Really?

I'm not sure but they are a hoot aren't they?  Well, they make me chuckle.  Hope you have a good one, chuckle, day whatever.