Happy New Year Everyone...God Bless Us Every One.

From my email to you:

Throughout this year and all of 2011 - May you always make the right choices.

May your cup runneth over with love.

May you always find shelter from any storm

May you remain good looking and looking good

May you find the perfect diet for your soul (If this face doesn't make you want to stop eating sausage, nothing will

May you find perfect balance in the company you keep.

May you have as much fun as you can before someone makes you stop.

May the worst thing that happens to you come in slobbery pink and furry tan.

May you manage to make time for siesta.

May all the new folks you meet be interesting and kind.

May your accessories harmonize with your natural beauty.

Should your mouth be bigger than your stomach, may you have a chewing good time.

May you always know when to walk away and know when to run.

And may your friends always bring you joy.

May you have a wonderful New Year filled with love, happiness, health and hope.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Let it Snow

Here we go again!  Well, it IS winter.

Ho Ho Ho for Christmas

Living through the renovation of the house we are living in is not easy.  Lots of action and noise though.  Have to post a Christmas laugh or two and hope it makes you smile as it did me.

Stress and Panic

Although we are far from this scene so far, I fear it is in the offing.  It's only 15 degrees this morning and breezy.  The air is dry and the sun is blazing but as my mother used to say, "There's no heat in that sun."
I am delaying walking the dog hoping against hope that the temperature creeps up a tad.  As you dog folks know, I can only push that delay thing so far and then?  she breaks into a dance and whine festival.  I am about ten minutes from the dance and dreading it.

I am going through a shedding period.  Every now and then my hair thins.  I lose tons each morning as I wash and dry it.  It drifts through the air and drops to the bathroom floor, fills the bottom of the basin, scares the bejeepers out of me because I can see my scalp.  This has happened at least twice in the past ten years and though I have always feared total baldness, it has not happened.  I can't remember how long it takes to grow back in and I am hoping, hoping, hoping that it is the same as it was whenever it was.  Of course, now it's growing back in white so it's hard to tell if it's growing in or not.  Panic Panic Panic.  And that of course makes the stress level higher and it might be the stress level causing the hair loss and  - - - I could go on and on and - oh well.  God is in charge and I trust in Him so all will be well no matter how much hair I have.

I must now walk the girl and I have to put a hat on and that makes me crazy since when I take it off the static hits and the scalp shows and I ---never mind.  Have a good one and pray for hair growth.

Something to Warm You on a Cold Winter Day

Is this the cutest thing you've seen today or what?  Who knew that a baby hippo could be so adorable?

Another ZooBorns moment - whenever the day is cloudy and gray I take a trip over there and never regret it.  They should pay me for referrals shouldn't they?  Well, they don't and they won't and that's all I have to say about that.  Except, you should go see http://www.zooborns.com/.

And now for something else sweet.  Received in an email

A Nativity Scene was erected in a church yard. During the night the folks came across this scene.

An abandoned dog was looking for a comfortable, protected place to sleep. He chose baby Jesus as his comfort. No one had the heart to send him away so he was there all night.

We should all have the good sense of this dog and curl up in Jesus' lap from time to time.

A Perfect Dog Story

Now, this is for my dog friends and my friends who need to smile!  From one of my friends who loves both.




An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out..

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Happy Thanksgiving

Saw this bumper sticker and thought it appropriate on this wonderful national holiday, Thanksgiving - "Pray for Whirled Peas"  took me a minute and then?  quite funny.  Seriously - have a Happy Thanksgiving and be thankful that you aren't a turkey.

Funny Old Folks

This is funny - the title of the email is "Live long enough to be a REAL concern for your kids.

Love them all!

Panda Babies

Shamelessly stolen from Zooborns -- you must go see the rest.  There are piles and piles of Pandas.  Have a happy Sunday.
http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/

Southern Ten Commandments

I lived in Texas for 3 years some time ago and I look back on those years with a great deal of fondness.  I knew before I got there that this is a big wide world.  I knew that there is more to people than their accents, their dress codes and their cultural idiosyncrasies.  All of the fantastically tolerant liberals in our current arena should  take a breath and realize that intelligence is more than sounding intelligent.  Here is an email from a Texan friend of mine.

Ten Commandments

Some people have trouble with all those 'shall's' and 'shall not's' in the Ten Commandments. Southern Country Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, in middle Tennessee they translated the 'King James' into ' Jackson County ' language.....No Joke (posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro , TN ).

(1) Just one God.

(2) Put nothin' before God

(3) Watch yer mouth

(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'

(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa

(6) No killin'

(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal

(8) Don't take what ain't yers

(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'

(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Now that's plain an' simple.

Y'all have a nice day now, ya hear!

And bless your little heart....

Maxine Strikes Again

Absolutely Brilliant Household Tip

Always keep several Get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.

Gotta Love It

This is so funny!  Thanks to my friend in Mississippi.

Da End is Near

Reverend Boudreaux was the part time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant SwamptownChurch down the way. They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground that read:

 "Da End is Near. Turn Yo Sef ' Roun Now Afore

It Be Too Late!"

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out of his window and yelled, "You stinkin' religious Wackoes!"

From around the curve they heard screeching tires, loud screams, and a huge splash ~ Then silence.

Boudreaux turns to Thibodaux and asks: "Do ya tink maybe da sign should jus say 'bridge out'"?



Ya Tink?

A Fable of Sorts

Have you ever seen a baby porcupine? Me either. These came in the mail today and as usual, I share. Who couldn't love this little dickens?

Fable of the porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the

cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided

to group together. This way they covered and protected

themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest

companions even though they gave off heat to each other.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one

from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen.

So they had to make a choice:

Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely,

they decided to go back to being together. This way they

learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the

close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Moral of the story:

The best relationship is not the one that brings

together perfect people, but the best is when each individual

learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire

the other person's good qualities.

In Other Words

LEARN TO LOVE THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.


Important Women's Health Issue

Even More Important News Received via Email

Important Women's Health Issue:


* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

* Do you suffer from shyness?

* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

- Dizziness

- Nausea

- Vomiting

- Incarceration

- Erotic lustfulness

- Loss of motor control

- Loss of clothing

- Loss of money

- Table dancing

- Headache

- Dehydration

- Dry mouth

- And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNINGS:

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.


Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas

Girlie Wisdom

From the email archives....I LOVE this!

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but she doesn't really care..


2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today...

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!'.....Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then they marry him.

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Home Again

Back from vacation and let me tell you....this was the best BEST vacation ever!

The Hubster turned 65 and for the first time in over 40 years he celebrated with his kids.  Tears and smiles and hugs and sobs, yes, all of the above.  So there was that.  I was an emotional bystander enjoying the whole thing.  He, and me too since I was with him, was wined and dined and toasted and just loved to bits.  It was so wonderful to see the used to be wife and in-laws enjoying him and him them.  We shed a few tears of regret that we couldn't have connected sooner but honestly?  God knows the right time and circumstance and He surely put this together in the best of ways.

Weather was fabulous, warm and humid and just like summer.  Shorts and tee shirts and sandals, how could a vacation be otherwise?  It was in the 40's and 30's here at home and just lovely to be warm for that brief time before the winter door slams shut.

Following the week with the kids and ex in-laws we went for a drive to visit my used to. be college room mate and her family.  Within 15 minutes we were 18 again and reliving every nonsensical adventure we ever had.  The husbands went along very patiently with our screaming bursts of uncontrollable laughter, her sons just stood back in awe over the fact that their very competent mom could be a very silly school girl shrieking, laughing over what seemed to be nothing and me joining right in.  We laughed, we drank and ate and talked and walked and then started all over again.  Can't wait to see her and her hubs again and this time it won't take 20 years to do it...after all, we don't have 20 years.

My friend from Mississippi who sends the very funny emails has been sending more of the same since we left and I MUST share this one with you.  I have missed this periodic posting and will be jumping all over this blog now that I have returned.  I have a bunch of stuff to fill you in on.

I leave you with a laugh

IRISH GHOST STORY

John Bradford, a 20 yr old college student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. No cars were traveling that night. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stop. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road. So, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to the pub. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk.

Suddenly the door opened and two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other.....

'Look Paddy...there's that freaking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it.'

Kinda funny

We're heading for Mississippi shortly to see my husband's kids and celebrate his birthday. Lots going on here with the house renovation and I am mighty glad to be heading south. A friend just sent me a picture via email of what we might see when we get there. This is an ice cream truck in Mississippi:

Now we're hoping for warm weather but Ya Thiink?

Just Sayin'

Yet another email and I love it:

Let me get this straight. We're going to be "gifted" with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't,

written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it,

to be signed by a president who also smokes,

with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese,

and financed by a country that's broke.

What the hell could possibly go wrong?

Smile Some More

Another email from a dear friend....just in time for a much needed chuckle

COLOR IS GOOD

Yesterday I went to the doctor

For my yearly physical.

My blood pressure was high.

My cholesterol was high. I'd gained some weight,

and I didn't feel so hot.

My doctor said eating right

doesn't have to be complicated and

it would solve my physical problems.

He said:

"Just think in colors.

Fill your plate with bright colors.

Try some greens, oranges, reds,

maybe something yellow, etc. "

So I went right home

and ate an entire bowl of

bright colors

And sure enough,

I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy!!

Now stay healthy,

eat your colors,

and have a nice day

Getting ready

Well, as usual, if it isn't one thing it's another.  We are in a perfect storm of things we have to do.  Our used to be primary residence is finally on the market and that is never a  peaceful thing.  Our agent is good (we think, and hope) but there are still things that pry their way into your serene and blissful life.

While that is happening, we are getting ready to do work on what used to be our weekend/summer/maybe all year round house so that we can live in it all year round.  It needs things like closets, storage, a room large enough for more than 4 people and a bedroom where you can actually have a dresser as well as a bed in the same place.   We are stretching the budget here because, until the other house sells, we will be living on fumes.  It will be done and we will do it.  My husband works from home and his office is here in the house being renovated.  We have to live here while the destruction/construction is ongoing.  We will have the use of  the living room, downstairs bath, our current bedroom and the spare room which will hold all of the everything from the upstairs bath, hall storage closet and used to be guest room.  Our kitchen is being enlarged (praise God) and will be out of commission.  All cabinets are currently being emptied by yours truly and stored in the garage.

Hopefully the work will begin the week of the 18th when we have out of state company arriving.  They will be at a motel but we will be entertaining them by touring and out to dinner and so forth.  We leave for Mississippi  on the 21st and will be gone until the 1st or 2nd and so have to be packed and ready for that.  I am lucky I know where my toothbrush is. 

The house for sale has a couple of very interested people looking and looking again.  Watch.  The house will sell and we will have to empty it out by the 1st.  Oh man.  That would be good news and bad news for sure.

Meanwhile I sit here writing and searching the net for stress relief and here is some.  Ready for Halloween.

Hurricane Horror

We are waiting today for torrential downpours and high winds.  It should have hit sometime yesterday and didn't.  This morning we were told that today would be cloudy and high winds would start (by now) and the heavy rain would bring up to 3 inches by the end of the day.  Right now it is in the 70's and brilliantly sunny.  There is a gentle breeze wafting in the windows to take the humid edge off the air.  What is with the news people and their hyper ventilation?  Not too long ago we were inundated with warnings and watches and omg Help me Hannah about Hurricane Earl.  That went on for days.  Neighbors boarded up windows and cleared the supermarket shelves of candles and bottled water.  People planning on staying for the week closed up and went home early.  A friend sent me an e-mail showing the terrible devastation of Hurricane Earl....let me share it with you

I surely hope the weather men are as accurate this time as they were before.

Life in a Bottle...so to speak

Again from the email collection:  A view of life.

Most of us are already on the THIRD bottle.  Yikes!

Stuff Grandad says

Sorry about the language but you know Grandad - never could control him..

From an email -- laugh for the day

Friendship

Got this fabulous email from my husband and he got it from who knows where.  It started my day and it made my day.  Enjoy.

Friendship isn't about those you've known the longest - -

It's about those who came and never left your side.

Have a wonderful day

Good Day

This whole "Burn a Koran" thing has evidently fizzled out.  The pastor who was going to burn that book said that God told him the mosque will be moved.  OK!  Somehow, the conclusion of this mess is as nutty as the beginning and the middle.  No way does it prove that we are caving in to the nonsense of the muslim world.  Note that I did not Capitalize muslim.  I won't give that belief that kind of respect.  The only thing that this incident has done is to prove to the viewing and listening world that this belief system is one with no respect for human life, no civilized behaviors and no redeeming qualities at all.  Now, I guess, I await my beheading or flogging or stoning since that is what these people, yes, I said these people, think is the right way to deal with dissent.

I am so done with this TOLERANCE issue.

I say good day.

Kinda Fun

Some words of wisdom from another email - from a dear friend......

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brillant question!!!!!!!

Wouldn't you know it....Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question

!!!!

How to Lick a Bowl

My cousin sent me this email on how to lick a bowl.  I thought we could all use a few pointers and a smile.

Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.