Saturday, July 05, 2008

Oh Bother!

Life is such a crazy ride isn’t it? People take off in so many different directions. Everyone has their bag of pain that they drag around some real and some imaginary. The pain in my life has been loss of family and I mean that in both the literal sense in that all of my immediate family has passed away in the last 8 years, and in the figurative sense in that most of the in-laws and offspring have worked themselves in a snit over something or other and have turned their backs. Now some of that back turning began quite some time ago and some of it has been manipulated by others in the past 2 years.

Do I own any of this? I’m not sure. I try to analyze things from others viewpoints. I use that “you have to understand” game on myself. I do understand to some extent. I have realized that understanding why someone behaves badly doesn’t ease the pain if you are the one they are behaving badly with. I have come to the conclusion that it is for the best if they behave badly at a distance. I am now experiencing the frustration of those who want very much to continue the behave badly game but because they have isolated the favorite target, they have no one to behave badly with except each other. Interesting. No?

Some of the bad behavior has gone way too far and now, since there are shared business concerns which must be dealt with jointly, a counselor has been summoned to ease everyone into a spot where communication, even if through others and with witnesses, can take place. The counselor has counseled and feels he has made “great progress” . He hasn’t said this out loud but the instinctive feeling I have is that I am being pressured to “let bygones be bygones and let’s hear it for - - “ Some of those counseled are showing a gentler kinder side and he feels that we should have a group hug. He hasn't said that in so many words but the tones and attitudes speak volumes. He thinks we should not just all get along but turn the clock back to the beginning of time and start over. You know what I mean?

How bright is this guy if he can’t see that they are tired of kicking the cat….they want me back…….the games can then begin...again.

I’m not going!!


Joyful Days said...

The clocks can't be undone. I am trying really hard to teach the boys this fact.

You know what I see though is re-runs. There are things my parents did, that their parents did and I am trying really hard to break the cycle--but end up doing the same things too. I can justify it all day, but it makes me sad.

I am watching my sister and my father really drift apart. It is sad and most likely I will get caught in the middle and have both mad at me because I know all the secrets.

Oh well...Cain and Abel, Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau...always conflict.


gemma said...

You're the best Julie -- thanks thanks thanks for the kind words and as always excellent advice...from another secret keeper. Now there's a great title for that book we should be writing.