This week has been one or sure. I am going through a moulting phase. I haven't tracked the times I go through these but probably it would be happening at this point in previous manifestations. Moulting, for those who wonder, is where my shell becomes soft and thin, kind of like the lobster's shell does. It prepares the lobster for growth I think. Maybe it's the same for me but in my case it's a sensation of being vulnerable, defenseless, like the onion being peeled. Everything and everyone is magnified. I am cowering ready to be attacked. In this condition I can find hurt where absolutely none exists. I sleep poorly, I eat a lot, (how better to thicken my shell?), and generally moan, whine and cry. When I pull out of these moults I am usually heavier and often a bit more tuned in to me and sometimes those around me. This could also be that SAD thing that people suffer from. It has been grey and dull forever it seems. It could be that but my general behavior is more of the moult variety.
I was explaining moulting to a very dear friend this morning since she had been taking offense at any number of things that any number of people had done, she agreed totally. We both laughed our way through the thicken up the skin thing through eating lots and lots and we came to the conclusion that our moulting season is followed by the F*** You season. We enter that season bloated and with lots of protective skin. We rebound from the cowering by going on the offensive.
Someone has to stop this horrible cycle of behavior. That someone had better catch us at the right time though. They'll either be ashamed of themselves for abusing weeping wailing women or once they turn their backs be pummelled (love that word) and totally punished for ever daring to make any suggestion.
And you thought Menopause was tough!!!