Always in the Morning

I think I might have said this once. I love the early morning. The house is MINE. Well almost and I think I also already said that I really don't want it to be. I like the sleeping going on upstairs while I putter about and I like the fact that it won't be long before I'm not alone. The husband and dog-child will be up and about and clamoring for something or other that only I can do. Thank God. But until then, the house is MINE and I love it.

I have always had a day dream that I would be a famous something or other. As a young girl I would lip synch to the show tunes and songs of the times. I would practice the broad moves a starlet would need to sell the song. Well then, when the lip synch became the singing, that dream moved aside.

In college I dipped into Psychology and lost my heart. What a treat! Finally, a means to determine why someone does what they do and why they will do the next thing. I spent the next 3 years analyzing and observing and poring over every written treatise that was available and I planned to become the next brilliant woman to conquer the world of the human psyche. Yes! Move off the stage Freud......and take your cigar with you. Once I looked into the years of study and work and tuition involved I found it necessary to work first, save money, apply to grad school etc etc and so to begin I would teach. That, after all, was what I had truly trained for. One year later, having realized how responsible a teacher was for the lives of their charges, I caved in and determined to earn money elsewhere. I couldn't leave that classroom at the end of the day and live my own life. Off to the offices of the world where I would put in the time and walk away to freedom.

Money, Money everywhere and I spent every bit of it. Never could get it in a pile to take care of tuition. That psychiatric business meant that I would be responsible for the lives and welfare of my patients or do we call them clients now? That kind of pressure, recalling the angst of being in charge of all those little ones when I was teaching, the fact that I couldn't save a dime because I was having just too darned much fun. Dream 2 done in.

I could always write. I read a People magazine article about a truck driver who, in his spare time, put a best seller together and why not me? Dream 3 on board. I saw myself at the computer every quiet morning, I would be plugging away at yet one more chapter. I would pour out my life experience and Voila, People magazine, make room on your cover for me.

Well, always in the morning I try to write something. Here I am. My dream is still alive but over the years it has morphed into -- I will write a journal type thing and relish the feeling of putting thoughts into words and seeing them on a screen. Each morning, or maybe not each, but in the morning I would sit at the computer and type away --actually I mostly read others' typings but when I do type away it's almost always in the morning, unless it's in the afternoon. And I guess as I look at it, Dream 3 has yawned and drifted away. I'm sure another dream will take shape. I wonder what it will be...........

Have a beautiful day in the neighborhood.