Back to the Radio Messages

I re-read some of my earlier postings and oh, my, some of them are pretty poignant and moving . . to me, at least. I always, as I said, have the radio on a Christian station and every morning there is a stream of half hour ministries that get me up and moving. I haven't written about them for some time but having re-read the older posts where I did write about them, and having the need for the messages, I thought I would share this morning's experience which was really on point, with me at least.

The message is from Ligonier Ministries Renewing Your Mind with Dr. J. C. Sproul. I love that show. It is so cerebral, it makes you stretch and isn't that wonderful in the morning. This morning the discussion was about Jonah. He was sent by God to Ninevah and ran away, fell into the ocean, swallowed by a great fish, up chucked onto dry land and told again to go to Nineveh which he hastily did. Once there he said they had 40 days before destruction, repent or die and they repented. Jonah was furious and went off to sulk in the sun of the desert. God sent a plant to shade him followed by a worm which ate the plant and then dry heat blasting wind. God spoke to Jonah and pretty much wondered how Jonah could feel bad for the plant which he never created or nurtured and had no feelings for all of the people of Nineveh who would have died.

Jonah hated the people of Nineveh, they were the enemies of the Israelites. He wanted justice not mercy for them. I used to be so angry when I caught the message of God's grace...a person could be rotten and mean and cruel and abusive and do unspeakable acts and yet. . . when hearing the message of the Gospel and taking it to heart could claim Jesus as his savior, repent and be forgiven of everything and then, a new man in Christ go on with life, a servant of God. I always thought justice would not be served that way. I wanted that for me but not for people who were mean to me and those I loved. I have been gradually worked on and know that my way is not God's way (boy is that for sure and am I glad of that) and I know that as each of the sin's for which we are forgiven is pulled out of our baggage, confessed to and repented for, I know each of those sin's is forgiven and forgotten by God. I also know that each of them rolls through our heads and humbles us in enormous ways...there is regret and that in my mind sometimes is the justice. To see ourselves as God did when we were committing those sins is so painful......

Catch up with Jenny

I am still a Jenny kind of girl....to date I have lost almost 17 pounds. Yeah, I know, it's been forever and I am moving along at glacial speed but I am still forging on. I now go every two weeks and I am not buying as much food but I still try to keep the boundaries that I have been told will succeed. Calories Calories Calories. Yes. I'm afraid the truth is that the Calories count and the truth will set me free.

I saw a picture of me at our Post Labor Day bash and Thank You God that I was losing weight then because.....beached whale or what?

A little fat humor. It's amazing the difference between what I look like in my head and what occurs in pictures...........

Check ya later......

Psychobabble and Family members

I have a revelation which I have to write down or forget. My late brother( the oldest since they’re all late) had a never ending dispute with my late Father. They never got through that Oedipus thing, I think. One of my brothers foolish stories that only got more detailed as years went on concerned a dinner scene. He was an only child at the time which meant he was four or younger. He spilled milk and claims my father slapped him im the face very hard. My mother got angry and said she was taking her son and leaving him. She didn’t. My brother never forgave either of them. I can’t imagine either of my parents hitting anyone. They would never hit a child. A glass of spilled mild always warranted loud voices, a slap on the table, a quick jump to get towels or sponges or whatever. He enhanced the scene tp make himself the innocent victim and my father the dastardly villain and my mother the hapless heroine who, if she had the money, could have taken her son and had a better life.

A lot of years were spent developing and polishing and nurturing that fairy tale and with each telling the characters were even more innocent, villainous and helpless. My brother never lived in the real world. He was always so insecure and unsure of himself. He created a personality for himself that was cartoonish and silly. He was one of the characters in a Mike Hammer paperback, he was Tony Soprano, he was invincible but really . . he was a little boy at a dinner table being humiliated in front of the woman he loved by a man he saw as his rival. From that time he created scenes that would avenge his honor and dreamed of revenge. He carried that with him all of his life. He was so sad.

I hope the Lord has him in group therapy and maybe by the time I get there he will at last have grown past that four year old we all had to live with for over 65 years. PS I loved him so much anyhow.

Strife and Division

Just read an editorial by the Anchoress regarding the Pope's speech which has sparked outrage. The speech has sparked the outrage, not the editorial. What doesn't spark outrage with those people? See where I am? I'm using a "those people" phrase. I guess that phrase distances me from them... there is no we right now only us and them. Well. I guess the press has worked it's magic. There is no news in a strife free world. Strife must be created. There can be no strife in a unified community. We must be separated and different from each other so that there is better and worse, righter and wronger, richer and poorer, haves and have not. You get it. If there was no threat or insult in the Pope's words....then pull them out of the middle of the message and create one. Having read the speech and knowing where the Pope inserted those quotes from the long ago emperor, the press has fomented this strife and the Muslim leaders who are whipping the crowds into a frenzy are very grateful. In my opinion they have been itching to start a brawl here in this country and did try with the silly cartoons. It had no legs. Now, they have the anti-Catholic press and the false assumption that the press speaks for all of us. This might be the one to tip the scales. God Bless Us and Keep Us. He will indeed.

Stuff and Nonsense.

Well, we had a wonderful weekend and here it is - - over. Monday always appears and back to reality. There has been a remarkable flurry of activity in the news. Finally, the real onslaught seems to be starting. Enough of this dictator and nuclear weaponry stuff. Get the religions going because that is really what all of this nonsense seems to be about. All of the masked wonders holding up signs - bowing to islam or slaying the infidels - in perfect English mind you. I loved one commenter who said something like....don't accuse the religion of peace of violence or they'll kill you. Perfect!

Religiosity

Dear Muslims,

Stay away from my religion and I'll stay away from yours. I don't presume to guess what your prophet would say today.....don't make up stories about Jesus.

Thank you


Good Bye

Stuff and Nonsense

Had a major discussioon (read argument) with a liberal co-worker and it concerned this Harvard nonsense and the Kennedy School of government guest speaker on September 10th. First of all my co-worker had not made a connection between the speaker and the date and the event 5 years before. Can anyone be that obtuse? At least he appeared that obtuse. Things went from bad to worse when he started with the right wing religious lunatic stuff and the W talking to God when he signed the veto of the embryonic stem cell research. I was bored and exhausted with the rote repetition of the learned opinions the left has imposed on the willing and so was not as energized as usual. I brought up the money factor of the stem cell thing. . . why not let private funds take care of the problem? Oh, no one will. Why not? No chance of real success. So grab the federal funds which are a deep and never ending resource. Get rich quick? Snake oil? No, embryonic stem cells. All of these malcontent former Catholics still angry with Mommy and Daddy have to come to some reconciliation or explode their heads with all the nonsense being jammed in.

I'm done. Thanks for listening.

Odds and Ends

Still sad but on the road to recovery. A lot of friends, like me, will be back this weekend and those that won't we'll see on Columbus Day when they will probably close up shop until Memorial Day. Plans are in the works for some kind of wrap up on that week end. One of the guys wants to do a clam bake, lobsters and all, on the beach. My husband is of course all for that and in the middle of it. Gads. It better not rain.

Meanwhile. There is a touch of fall in the air but only a touch. Yesterday was coolish but today. . humid and warm too. The clothes they are a changin'. Pants, shorts, no pant, no shorts . . . Yikes! Wear both. Terrible problems No?

My niece's son has started school, first grade, and he is so happy so far. It's a small church school, not his church but my niece doesn't care. The classes are small and the religion is solid and not overwhelming so she feels it will just work for his good and I agree with her. When did she develop such wonderful common sense? Not when she stayed with us for all those times as a youngster. Then my husband called her Linda Blair. She did appear to be possessed. Hormones I guess. Now she is a lovely young woman with two beautiful children and she is really working at the whole thing. Bless her and Keep her Lord.

That's my morning and I have to go. Work. Work. Work....Later.

The end of the summer

A week of sad. Labor Day has always been a good bye kind of holiday. Summer is over. Years ago school would be starting after Labor Day. Leave the ocean. Back to the winter house and neighbors and friends and clothes. Get out the shovels. Put Dinty Moore beef stew on the shelf and make sure you have candles, milk and bread before the Northeaster hits.

Now things aren't quite so bad but still . . a lot of neighbors are preparing to depart for the winter. Water is turned off. Windows are sometimes shuttered. The walk to the beach is darker and quieter than ever before. We can back out of our driveway in less than an hour since traffic becomes almost non-existent. It always gives me that fearful feeling of loss and loneliness.

Meanwhile I have to get back to the winter house for at least part of the week to do my duties. At least I'll be back and will spend a day on either end of this holiday to give me a really good long one.

Right now though, I'm sad.

Sew Anyway As I was Saying

Went shopping last night with a friend who is manic in her need to shop. Everything she touches must be tried on and if it fits will be on the counter for purchase. She whizzes through the store in a frenzy and by the time the bill is paid and we’re ready to go I am almost hyperventilating. I try to add up the cost of the stop and shop and lose track because the tag price is never the purchase price. There is a one day special if you are a senior and it’s Wednesday. If you have a coupon from the catalog and have spent more than $100 then you get so much off and if you buy two of one item the second is 30% or 50% or whatever the scratch ticket they handed you at the door says. Don’t scratch it off until you are ready to buy. Good Grief! How does anyone keep track of this stuff and what does it say about the original ticket price? How marked up did it have to be to survive all this nonsense and still make the store a profit? I am signing up for that sewing class and making my own stuff. Of course then I’ll have to go to fabric stores and who knows what contortions they set up in order to make shopping a fun and apparently bargain hunter’s dream experience?

The one thing I know is that if I were to make my own anythings I will know the quality of the item and appreciate its’ value. I knit and have made my own sweaters and this winter I am going to make one for me and one for my hubbie. I also crochet and have made tablecloths and runners and doilies etc. and will be making a few more of those items. I would really love to learn to sew with a machine and overcome my feeling of failure from the ninth grade home economics class when I got my first C. I just couldn’t do anything as neatly and smartly as the teacher wanted me to. I felt awkward and messy and sloppy and that has stayed with me. I am going to do as Abraham was told….leave my home and family and …I am going to leave the feeling I have that I can’t sew and get on with learning how to do so. I can do needlepoint and crewel and cross stitch and I do it beautifully. I can therefore learn to stitch a seam and make a buttonhole and install a zipper.

It’s good to have goals.

Cant stan'em

Here's what I'm sick of......for the past 6 years the press has been pounding their agenda, yes, agenda not news over our heads. Impeach Bush, Viet Nam, quaqmire, there will be a draft, gay marriage, hate speech, (fill in the blanks as long as its a Republican or anyone with common sense) is Hitler. Honestly, give. it. up. Go back to the Pravda school of mind bending and try again. Oh yes there is also the Children and innocent civilians are being torured and traumatized by smokers who are right wing Christians. Gitmo. Sobbing for Castro. Cindy Sheehan and her band of over the hill layabouts who smoked too much pot in the sixties and never got on the new drug of choice whatever that is........oh, I forgot - there's the civil war in Iraq or soon will be or almost could be or Pleeeeeeeze someone start one. Keep the talking heads happy with whatever the new depression of the day should be.. Bird Flu, Global Warming, Mad Cow. I could keep going and will. Obesity, the poor immigrants, profiling, warrantless wiretaps, OHMIGASPUMP the oillllllllllllllllllll prices. Pleeeeeeeze let the windfarms into the Atlantic, save the manatees and STOP spraying the mosquitoes.

I'm sick of every tree hugging nonsensical manipulation the press and their minions push at us every minute of every day as they attempt to destroy our world. Somehow they must think that whatever world remains, they will be in charge of it and that will make everything OkeyDokey since they are the most brilliant and caring individuals in the universe.

Bleeeecccccchhhhhh and Pffffffft to all of them.

Truth or Consequences

I know. I know. I said two posts for yesterday. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire. That's all I have to say about that. I heard on the radio this morning that breaking your promise is the same as a lie. Yikes. It's funny but I always thought that a lie was a deliberate falsehood told to either protect yourself or someone else or it could be a deliberate falsehood meant to harm someone. I never really thought that breaking your promise was a lie. As a younger person a promise to be somewhere with someone was good as long as there was nothing better to do. It was stated that a promise is a promise. It doesn't melt when a better offer appears. Now that throws that situation into a whole new light. During that radio sermon it was also said that breaking your word is a lie. Not paying your bills is a lie. Liars are dealt with very severely. It was also said that lies are sometimes blessed. When the Jewish midwives in Egypt were told to kill all the new born baby boys and they lied to Pharoah saying the Jewish women were so lively that the babies were born before the midwives arrived, God blessed them. Also when Rahab lied to protect Joshua's spies she was placed in the honor roll of the faithful. Both of these lies were in effect, civil disobedience. God stresses that we must obey civil orders. The law of the land is to be obeyed whether we like it or not as long as it is not in violation of God's law.

I must go ponder. We are surrounded by lies 24 7 in our high tech world. Not misunderstandings but deliberate falsehoods told to make a situation look better or grimmer than it is. Lies, lies, lies. Not marketing or advertising or spin. Lies.

I am off to the showers, work and hopefully a day of truth.

Pray for me.

In which I attend a concert

More time flies by around here. I am always amazed at the date or the time of day. Where did it all go? I used to say that there is nothing of any importance to report on but so much trivial detail that I'm exhausted thinking about it.

Some of my huge adventures did involve life outside of the usual rut. We went to a concert a week ago and saw Natalie MacMasters, a Celtic fiddler and step dancer. WOW....she is amazing. Within a 5 minute period she had the whole audience on their feet and clapping and moving around. Just joyful. Then Del McCrory(sp) and his bluegrass music took over and that was followed by Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. Just fabulous, each and every one. I am in awe of such talent and the ability to be transported by the music as each of the artists can be. What a gift.

I have to fly right now and hit the morning commute to get to the office and then meetings, meetings, meetings but then some down time and I plan to post twice today. We'll see.

Have a good morning.

A Sad and Hot and Lighter Week

Wow! It's been a week since I wrote anything. I've thought about it but, and now here's the list of excuses no reasons why I have not written. Heat for one thing. Great swooping cranes it has been HOT. Humid too I might add. My house has window unit air and I only turn it on when I get home from work and by the time the comfort zone hits I'm asleep on the couch. My friends mother passed away last Monday. Quick wasn't it? That's not a bad thing at 95. Feel fine until 2 weeks before you pass on then have a pain, go to the hospital for tests, develop pneumonia, overcome that and die in your sleep after you saw your entire family and told them you love them. I vote for that.

My other friend's mother who also had a back pain is doing fine. A pulled muscle and she's also 95. So there's that.

The wake and funeral were on Friday and Saturday and I had some of the family at my house. There you have the reasons I did not write.

I learned a number of things during this hot sad time. I'm still mulling them over and will write later this week. Funny. I have such coherent and logical discussions in my head and then when I try to organize and write it down....what a difference.

Yes! If you're interested. I did lose weight again....almost two pounds so here we have an almost 8 pound weight loss. I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to do this. I sincerely hope I can keep going. As I look back on my health issues a doctor's visit lingers in my memory. He was reviewing my blood work over the past few years. I go twice a year for work ups and he pointed to one that was outstanding. "Whatever you were doing back here," he said, "Do it again. Your results were amazingly good." Well I was going to Jenny and losing weight. I must really change my ways and keep this healthy eating going since I want to be just like my friends' mothers and be going strong at 95.

Now I must get on with my day and you with yours. Have a lovely one.

YAY!!!!!!

DOWN - Yes, the scale went DOWN! Hallelujah Hannah. Only a pound but honestly after the bloating and puffing up of the appendages on Sunday thanks to Saturday's festival, I was so grateful for that pound. I am motivated to go on for another week. I have to say that I feel better, I think I already said that right? I'm sorry it's the age thing. I do feel better though and my bras are not so tight. Yeah I know that's not a great thing in the feminine pulchritude world but it translates to the undergarments are not stopping the breathing. Well. On with the show and hoping for more downers in the future.

Weigh in Day

Well, today I must face the music of a Summer Cookout and who knows how many glasses of wine. Face it I will since that's the new me. I'm hoping for no gain...that will please me. A gain will stab but I will have to fess up that it was earned. That pulled pork thing that my man made was too good not to eat but boy howdy did it ever swell up the foot and fingers....I'll be blaming the gain on water weight. I was good all week otherwise and will be the week coming and so .. slow but steady wins the race. My grandmother told me that years and years ago and I didn't like it then, still don't but it is so true. Maybe that's part of what God wants. Submit to Him and His laws. His laws include gravity, water retention and sodium intake as well as slow but steady wins the race. I always knew that submit would be loving your enemy and turn the other cheek. Now I see that it is ever so much wider than that. I prayed to the Lord to expand my horizons and here it is. Submit Gemma for you will surely regret not doing so. Funny how everything old becomes new again. Another of those law things....submit. Calories in, calories out, you are what you eat, ya da ya da ya da. Ignore at your peril.

I'll let you know how I fared on the scale....Later.

Summer Cookout

Yesterday, my husband and one of his friends held a cookout. They each love to cook. I mean LOVE to cook. They each also love to cook in HUGE quantities. I mean, after all, if something comes out so wonderfully well why not have enough for 50 or so to have seconds or thirds or . . .

Well, yesterday was a pulled pork barbecue, North Carolina style. If you're like me, you love to eat this stuff. You don't need the history of it, the recipe wars that exist around it, the styles and nuances of it. Put it on a platter and hand it over. Yum. These two guys, hubby and friend, when they begin a project such as we had yesterday, become solid, know everything experts and can debate for days the advantages of a vinegar sauce over a whatever. On and on and on. The end result was that the long smoked pork butt(s) were unbelievably good, fed 25 and we have enough left over to do it again Sam.

It really was a good time. Each guy got to invite 4 other couples and they decided to ask people who don't normally socialize together so everyone got to know new folks. It really worked well. Fortunately all of those people also loved to eat. Everyone brought a side dish or appetizer or desert and what a feast we had. Best part? The guys took care of it all. We two wives just stood back and did our very best to keep out. Of course we did the run and fetch thing when asked but basically they both did it. They invited and co-ordinated and shopped and best of all, cooked. Why didn't we do this years ago?

Neither of my friends whose mothers are ill were able to come and that was the one cloud over the day. The back pain for one is merely a pulled muscle, thank God. My other friend's mother is still holding her own but they say it's only a matter of days. All of my friend's siblings are pulling together and thanking God for the years they have all shared with their mother and the time they now have to care for her and each other. God is so good.

My Friends' Pain

This has been a strange week so far. My two dear friends have elderly mothers. Their mothers are both in their mid 90's and live on their own. Each is as sharp as, actually sharper than, a 20 something. They are both women who have enormous variety in their interests and who care for themselves very well. Each this week has suffered a medical moment. One had a back pain which, upon investigation, was caused by a mass on some internal organ. That mass is malignant and way down the road. Pneumonia has set in in just a short time and although that is on the wane she is being sent home with hospice and the family has been told it's not for long. My other friend's mother also has back pain but she is still home and nursing herself. That friend is so worried that the pain is caused by something more than a pulled muscle that she can't sleep and is wild that her mother refuses to seek medical attention.

Which dear friend is suffering more? The one who knows for sure or the one imagining? I pray for both and see why both situations cause pain and both pains are real and different and the same. Lord help me help them help us all. My husband, who I know in my heart has a deep childlike faith but won't admit it, said the strong faith of the mother with the malignancy will mean that she is handling the situation better than any of her children. I thank God for giving me a glimpse of my husband's core.

Bless us all and carry us through the day ahead.

Help with Salvation

I just read a post by an orthodox christian and I realized what an infant in Christ I am....... I am a Protestant, tried and true and a believer in Sola Scriptura. I know that praying without ceasing is what I should be doing and I try. I know the Holy Spirit will take over when my words and pleadings fade. I pray to the Father. I have great respect and awe for the Mother of God, Mary but I honestly have never prayed to her except during a Catholic Mass and I attend those for funerals, weddings and christenings. Remember, I am from Boston and I am not Catholic. Never say that I don't know what it is to be a minority.

I just read about salvation through praying and I am so confused. I guess the poster meant that we pray that the subject be brought to Christ and be saved but somehow it read as if merely by praying to Mary the subject would be saved. Why would you not just pray to the Father through the Son and there you are..... Help me with this. I thought Jesus was my High Priest and Intervenor..... what's this about?????

A Real Downer

Yes! Victory! Well for a week at last. Jenny was very very good to me. Down 5 pounds. Actually down 5.2 pounds and that's the most weight I have ever lost in a brief time. Now for the real weight loss which begins this week. I often said that if I would only stop my glass or two of wine each evening that would cause a major ripple in the fat world. That and less food have really worked. I have to say that I feel better. I have a foot that swells up when I walk past a salt shaker and that foot? She has remained her normal puffy size. My rings fit in the morning. This fluid retention thing seems to calm down when the diet returns to normal. This time I must retain the lessons of healthy eating.

So. It's on with the show. The lettuce growers love it when I buckle down.

I truly must give credit where it belongs and just as when I quit smoking I would thank God every morning for another day to come which would be smoke free, so I will do that now. Thank you God for guiding me through this coming day and keeping me on a diet that will provide me with good health and a smaller body size.

Have a wonder filled day.